Page 54 of The Future Play

“Hi, Jamie.”

Two girls slowly walk by our table, arms linked as they laugh together. I’ve hooked up with one before, and the other hit on me in the past.

I barely give them a glance and an up nod so they’ll keep walking, but Amanda looks at them, then quickly looks away. She tries to pull away from my touch, but I move closer. She is the only thing that matters to me tonight.

“Does that happen a lot?” she asks, somewhere between amused and annoyed.

“Uh, sometimes…” My cheeks flame red, giving me away.

She lifts her arm, and I finally move my hand, letting her brush her thumb over my cheek.

“Why are your cheeks so red? We’ve talked about sex before. And two girls saying hello to you makes you blush?”

“I don’t like that kind of attention on me. Plus, it’s not easy for me to just talk to people.”

She quirks a brow. “Didn’t you say you liked to hook up a lot?” Wow, I wish I wouldn’t have told herthat. “How did you do that if you’re not comfortable talking to random people?”

I sigh and ruffle a hand through my hair, then take a bite of my ice cream. “This is going to sound so dickish, but usually they came to me.”

Some of her playfulness drops at that.

“Got it. And are you still—never mind.”

“Hooking up? You can ask me.”

“No. It’s none of my business.”

I tilt my head, unable to stop the stupid smile growing on my face. “Do you not want me to hook up with anyone else?”

Please say yes.That means I still have a shot.

She stares at me for a long beat, then goes back to eating her ice cream before she finally answers me. “It wouldn’t be the best way to win me over.”

Her voice has that same guardedness to it she’s had ever since we kissed.

She’s not ready for me to be playful yet. She needs my sincerity.

I rest my hand on her thigh, drawing all her attention to me. She needs to hear these words and know they’re the absolute truth. “I’m not hooking up or trying to hook up with anyone else. Partly because that would be a really shitty thing to do. But mostly because you’re the only one I want.”

She swallows hard, staring at me like she’s trying to see mysoul through my eyes. Who knows? Maybe she can. Maybe that’s her superpower. All I know is she’s my kryptonite. When I’m around her, I’m weak.

“Why me?” Her voice is hushed and raw.

“What do you mean?”

“Why me? Why do you want me?”

The vulnerability in her voice mixed with the pain in her eyes absolutely guts me. I hate every person who has ever made her question her worth. And I know I’m one of them. Which is all the more reason I need to fix this now. I need to show her how much she means to me.

I take her bowl of ice cream and set it on the table. I don’t want anything between us while I say this.

Our knees brush as I shift closer, then gently run my fingers through her hair.

“You’re asking that like it’s a choice. From the moment I met you, I’ve been pulled to you, and the more I get to know you, the more captivated I am. You have a hold on me that I wouldn’t lift even if I could. In only knowing each other a short time, you saw the mask I put on, and you’ve never judged me for who I am underneath it. You are a mesmerizing force of nature, and to be in your path means to be overtaken by the beautiful storm you are. There’s never been a choice, Amanda. From the moment you walked into my life, there’s only been you. And I hope, in time, you’ll believe me when I say that’s all I want. I want to be yours. The person you rely on and let take care of you and protect you and your big, beautiful heart. It’s never been a choice, but even if it was, I’d choose you a thousand times. And I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness and trust.”

She stares at me for a long moment. An arduous, painful moment. I’m sweating, wondering if I took it too far or not far enough—if she’s about to reject me.

“Okay,” she breathes.

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