Page 42 of The Future Play

He narrows his eyes. “You want herbecauseyou can’t have her or you realized what you wanted too late?”

I look down, kicking at a small rock on the edge of the deck. “The second one.”

“So, what was all that shit a few weeks ago?”

Right. The weekend after what happened with Amanda, the guys and I were going out to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, and as we do, we were giving each other shit. Aaron asked me something about Amanda and I made some dumb joke about going home with blue balls every time I was around her—not totally untrue because everything about her is a turn on—after I doubled down on theI can’t have a relationship because of baseballthing.

Aaron told me not to sideline the rest of my life for baseball, and that’s part of what made me text Amanda my fourth apology—and also sent me spinning over the fact that maybe Icanhave what I want. That I can have more than baseball. I’ve spent the past three weeks turning that over and over, feeling like a dick, wondering if there’s even a sliver of hope, and living with the ache of missing Amanda.

“Me being a dumbass.”

“Clearly.”

“Again I ask, what do you want from her?”

“I want to be with her,” I mumble.

“You’re going to need to sound a hell of lot more certain than that if you talk to her.”

“I want to be with her… but is that crazy? We’re apart most of the year. Who knows where baseball will take me this time next year? How can I get wrapped up in a relationship that’s destined to be difficult from the start?”

Aaron stares at me for a moment, then folds his arms over his chest. “Did baseball come easily to you? Did you immediately know you wanted to be a pitcher? Were you automatically the best?”

“Of course not. You know that.”

“And yet you’re one of the top high school pitchers, not just in New York, and you have a strong chance at being drafted next year. How did you get from there to here?”

“I worked my assoff.”

“And was it worth it?”

“Obviously, it was worth it.”

His arms drop to his sides. “Just like anything worth having is.”

Damn.

That was a perfect four-seam fastball right in the middle of my zone and I totally fucking missed it. Hell, I didn’t even swing.

“If you want to be with her, you have to fight for that. You can build a relationship over distance—in a lot of different situations—every single day. But you have to want to. And all those people out there who say relationships mess with your head? Fuck that. Not good relationships. Not healthy ones. And if you build it right, that’s what you’ll have. You’ll have something—someone—that bolsters you as you step on the mound each time. But you have to decide whether that’s what you want, and if you’re willing to put the work in to have it.”

“It’s annoying that you’re always right. How do you do that?”

He grins at me. “Easy. By fucking up and learning along the way.” He smacks my shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go take your mind off it. I can rally everyone for a wiffle ball game.”

“Yeah. Okay. That sounds fun. Thanks. I’m going to run inside for a second, but I’ll meet you out back.”

“Sounds good.”

He heads for the deck stairs, while I open the sliding door, walk inside, and take the stairs down to the lower level.

When I get to the bar area downstairs where there’s another refrigerator, I pull it open and smile to myself.

I look around, then quickly pull one of the cupcakes off the stacked trays in the fridge, and lick some of the icing off as I close the door.

“You’re not supposed to eat those until later.”

I clutch a hand to my rapidly beating heart as Penny stands there, arms crossed.

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