Page 41 of The Future Play

He laughs. “Wow. That was convincing.”

“Fuck off.”

“You’re so nice to me. Now, come on. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Sure. But why this time?”

“Have I mentioned you’re going to be a great guidance counselor one day?” I deadpan.

That’s what Aaron is studying now, and he’s enjoying himself. It’s a perfect fit for him. He’s great with people. He’s kind, and he’s a good listener. Of course, with his friends, he’s also a shit-giving pain in the ass.

“What a shining vote of confidence.”

I roll my eyes, then look back out over the side of the deck.

Aaron grabs me by the arm and drags me away from everyone. “Seriously. What’s up? Are you bummed about turning eighteen? Usually people are pumped about that.”

“No. I mean, it doesn’t really matter to me. I’ve felt like an adult for a while now.” That’s the fun of committing your life to making it in professional sports, always hanging out with people who are older than you, and having three young siblings. You grow up faster when you’re surrounded by responsibility.

“Then what’s going on? I know big parties are hard for you sometimes, but you don’t usually look like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like you want to punch something. Or cry. Or both.”

I blow out a breath. “I’m not that dramatic. I just… messed up. And I’m kicking my own ass about it now.”

His brow furrows. “Something with baseball?” Of course that’s exactly what he’d think. It’s what anyone would think. That’s what I get for making baseball most of my personality.

“No. With Amanda.”

I meet his gaze, watching as his eyebrows go up. “Amanda, huh?”

“Look, before you jump into meddling mode?—”

“I’m not going to jump into meddling mode. That’s reserved for the rest of the friend group. Or if you’re being an absolute idiot and need a kick in the ass.”

I rub my hand over my face. “I might.”

“What happened?”

I tell him, and the way he winces as I finish talking, confirms what I already knew. No Reddit post needed here, folks. I am the asshole.

“What do I do now?”

“That depends on what you want to happen—why you’re upset. If you’re upset you hurt a friend by crossing the line, time and space are probably going to be key in salvaging that.”

“And if I hurt my own feelings too?”

He sighs. “What do you want from her, Jame?”

Everything.

Fuck. That’s what I think every time I ask myself that question.

“I want what I can’t have.”

---