Page 39 of The Future Play

Her gaze connects with mine, and I’m moving closer without realizing.

“It’s impossible not to notice you. You stand out, like a shining light in the darkness. Like a bold splash of color. My eyes are always drawn to you.”

I comb my fingers through her hair as my eyes drop to her lips.

Her fingertips dance over my arm, lighting a fire beneath my skin. A fire that burns through my whole body, propelling me forward, until her breath is on my lips.

“Jamie…”

The desperation in her voice makes me lose all control, and Islant my mouth over hers, doing what I’ve wanted to do since that night we sat on the floor eating sushi.

Her lips move against mine, then her tongue drags over the seam, and I take the invitation.

And when her tongue touches mine? Holy fuck.

I’ve kissed a lot of girls. It’s no secret I like to hook up.

But this?

No. This isn’t kissing. This is cracking my ribcage open and exposing what’s beating inside there.

And that’s something I’ve never felt. Never done.

Her soft lips move against mine, her tongue playfully teasing me, and all I can think is that I want more. So much more.

More of her. More of us.

Except. Fuck me. There isn’t any us. There can’tbeany us.

What the fuck am I doing?

I can’t give her what she deserves. I can’t give her all of me.

Which means I shouldn’t be doing this.

Amanda

Jamie’ssatiny lips violently tear from mine.

When I lift my eyes to meet his, the cozy warmth I was surrounded in shatters and falls away. Coldness seeps in, and before he can say I word, I jolt backward.

He extends a hand toward me. “I’m sorry.”

And even though I told myself I knew nothing could happen. Even though I was ready to just have fun… those words break something inside me.

“I shouldn’t have…” He opens and closes his mouth a few times, searching for something to say, but it’s pointless. “You’re incredible,” he stammers. “But baseball has to be my focus right now. I don’t have anything else to give.”

I nod as I stand and smooth out my clothes, holding my head high and keeping my face a stoic mask to hide the pain shootingthrough me, aiming straight for my heart. I don’t know when I got so caught up in him, but it was a mistake. Fuck crushes. Fuck people who make you think they want you, then change their minds. Fuck love. I’ll stick to hook ups. That’s what I should’ve done this whole time. The second I felt anything for Jamie, I should’ve put distance between us. That’s on me.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Kissing me when he knew he wouldn’t choose me is on him.

I glance down at him one last time. “No. You shouldn’t have.”

Then I walk away, keeping my shaky legs strong.

“Amanda,” he calls after me, but I don’t look back.

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