Page 26 of The Future Play

Since we first met at the Christmas party, there’s been something in the air every time we’re in the same space. Everything feels heightened. Electrically charged somehow. I hate it. I’m never tongue-tied around guys. Or girls. Or whoever I’m interested in. I don’t care about anyone’s gender or sexual identity, only that they’re a decent human.

But right now, I can barely form a coherent sentence. I’m air headed and my insides feel a little too warm and gooey.

How many languages can I saynot an optionin? Unfortunately, not many. I learned American Sign Language years ago, and I’ve found it the most useful second language to know. I picked up a little Spanish because one of the cooks at the event company I used to work at is from Colombia and speaks it fluently. I figure if I’m going to work in event planning, the more languages I know, the better.

But something inside me doesn’t want to believe Jamie isn’t an option, no matter what language I say it in, and I’ve developed a ridiculous crush on him.

“What kept you up?” Jamie asks, and I almost jump out of my skin.

Another one of my shining personality traits. I get lost in my head a lot.

“My brain is always going and one thing led to another, and now… I need brownies.”

He chuckles. “Rae makes the best brownies. I think there are some cheesecake ones in there.”

I yank the door open and my mouth waters when I spot them.

As I pull the container out, my skin prickles. Jamie’s body brushes mine as he reaches in and pulls the container of pizza out, already going for another slice.

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and catch his smirk.

My hand stills on the container of brownies as Jamie’s warmth fades away. Alone again, I lean a little farther into the refrigerator, suck in a deep breath, then turn around, summoning my bold side.

“Growing boy, huh?”

He grins at me from the kitchen island. “Yep.”

“Well, I think I’m done growing, but you’ll have to pry these brownies from my cold, dead hands.”

He tilts his head. “Anyone who tries to control what you eat deserves what they get.”

“Including having important body parts removed?” I purr.

He strides over to me, looking much older than he actually is. “Fair punishment. I’m serious, you know. You shouldn’t ever have to make excuses for what you eat. Life’s too short not to enjoy good food. I hate when I have to restrict myself or adhere to specific diets. I do it because being in good shape for the game is important to me, but if it wasn’t for that, I’d eat pizza every day.”

I blink at him, wishing I could find the right words or some sassy comeback, but I’ve always been aware that I’m not the skinny one. Well, not always. A doctor made a comment on it when I was ten, and it was the first time I thought there was something wrong with me. The doctor tried to suggest a diet, at which point my mother asked me to wait in the hall. I heard a few cursewords before she stormed out. We never went back there again, but the damage was done. Especially because not too long after that, I started the hellscape that was middle school. Being the “chubby” girl wasn’t fun.

Eventually, I learned to embrace my curves. I love my body. But the desire to meet that thin model-like appeal was conditioned into me. I have to actively fight against it. Some days that takes a lot of fucking energy.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

He slowly shakes his head. “You’re gorgeous. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Then he steps back and grabs two plates. He puts two pieces of pizza on his and two brownies on mine.

“Want to go sit on the back deck? It’s a beautiful night.”

“Sure. I’ll grab some blankets.”

Even though the cool night air would be welcome right now.

When we get out to the back deck, it’s chillier than I was expecting, which must be why Jamie pulls me onto the padded outdoor loveseat with him and puts both blankets over us.

My arm grazes his, and I don’t have to worry about being cold anymore.

Flames burn deep inside me, and for the first time, I wonder if this is a terrible idea.

But then he smiles at me, and it’s so damn earnest, I can’t help but smile back.

---