Page 19 of The Future Play

I stare at her for a beat. She wants to move on like she never said those words, but I heard every one of them. And I saw the hurt from them in her eyes. She tries to do everything because she never had anyone to help her. She doesn’t want to bother anyone because she feels like that’s what needing help is—demanding attention. It doesn’t seem like anyone has ever looked at her and chosen her—until now. That blows my mind because she’s a masterpiece. Talented, witty, kind, and just wants to help.

Fuck.

I need to get out of that mental space right now. Because who am I? Another person who wouldn’t be able to choose her. Not the way she deserves to be chosen.

So I take a drink of my water and let her change the subject back to me.

“Yes. I have three much younger siblings. Penny is seven, Calvin is five-and-a-half, and Mila is three-and-a-half. Even though I’m used to the age difference, sometimes it still feels strange. Like I’m a mix of only child and older brother.”

“How’d you end up with siblings so much younger than you?”

“My parents are trust fund kids who went right into working the type of high-stress corporate jobs that keeps their families’ money strong. They barely paid any attention to me and almostgot divorced before they realized how unhappy they were. They pivoted to careers they love, refocused on me and our family, and rekindled their love. Which led to my siblings. My parents are gross and can’t ever keep their hands off each other.”

She laughs. “I noticed that tonight. Your dad kept squeezing your mom’s butt when they were dancing.”

I groan, gagging. “Feel free to never tell me anything like that again.”

“It’s sweet. Wouldn’t you want that? To still feel insanely in love with your partner after years together?”

I have to give her that. “Yeah, I guess I would.”

“Of course, maybe you don’t want to get married. Maybe it’ll be all A-list parties and ball bunnies for you when you make it to the majors.”

“Maybe one of those A-list parties will be planned by you. We’ll see each other across a crowded room.”

She laughs. “Another story for the grandkids, right?”

“Exactly.” We eat in silence for a few minutes, but what she said before is eating away at me. “For the record, I do want that. Not the A-list parties. Love. It’s just not something I’m focused on right now. Plus, I’ve seen enough relationships fall apart that it makes me wary.”

“Your parents are still together. And clearly happy.”

“They are. But I guess I mean more with my friends. Like everyone thought Sarah and Trevor would end up together. We were all shocked when it ended.”

Amanda laughs and shakes her head. “As the newbie, that’s so strange to me because I can’t really picture them together. And maybe I’m reading into it, but I got the vibe that there’s something between her and Joel.”

“I have no idea. I’ve stopped trying to keep tabs on it. Then, of course, there’s Aaron and Rae.”

“Yeah, I feel like I’m learning something new about that every day. Seems like a bit of a dumpster fire.”

My lips pullflat. “To say the least.”

“You okay?”

My eyes flit to hers. “Yeah. Just frustrated with how Aaron has been acting.”

“Well, from what I’ve learned from the girls, it wasn’t just on him.”

“No. It wasn’t. But I hate seeing this downward spiral he’s in.”

“Have you talked to him since the Christmas party?”

“Yeah. I went over the next morning and pushed him… gave him a little shit. I don’t know. It’s how we’ve all always been with each other. I just want him to pull himself out of this space and fight.”

“In my experience, you can’t decide that for someone else. They have to decide that for themselves.”

“Wow. That’s very wise.”

“Well, I am nineteen now.” She playfully flips her hair.

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