Page 159 of The Future Play

He watches me for a moment, like he can’t believe I’m really standing here, then he smiles and picks up two small whiteboards and hands them to me.

“What are these for?”

“They’re our communication boards. You were right that I wasn’t seeing you, because I wasn’t listening to you. There’s a bigger one in the kitchen, and when we’re in the same place, we can both write down any big feelings or struggles we’re having throughout the day, and after dinner—or a game, whatever—we can sit down and talk about what we wrote. If we haven’t already. And when we’re apart, we’ll each have one of these. We’ll write what we’re feeling or struggling with and show each other when we talk via video call. Accountability is important, and I wasn’t being accountable to our relationship.”

Fudge.

Tears stream down my cheeks. This is… exactly what I need. What we need.

“I’m not sure I was either. I was in fix-it mode. Trying to keep you happy.”

He nods. “I shouldn’t have put that on you. But also, I don’t want you to take that on. Please, don’t ever enable my bullshit to keep the peace. All it does is destroyyourpeace.” His voice breaks. “I’m sorry I was complicit in that. You deserve so much better than what you got from me this summer, and I’ll do everything I can now to make it better. To heal us.”

I fight back a sob and collapse against his chest. “Thank you for this. I needed this. I needed you.”

“I know you did. I’m so sorry. And to that end, um, if you want to, I’m open to going to counseling together to keep working through what happened and to figure out how to make our relationship stronger going forward.”

I pull back and look up at his glassy eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah. I can’t take full credit for that idea. My mom brought it up and talked about how fundamentally it changed her and my dad’s relationship for the better and made them stronger. So many people see it as a last resort, but when you’re going through hard things or big transitions, it’s a way to stabilize and strengthen a relationship. That’s what I want. For us to be rock solid.”

“Me too. And yes. I think that’s a good idea. But maybe after your season is done. We could find someone in Old Lake Town. If you’re willing to come share a crappy full-size bed with me in a house with six of our best friends.”

He laughs, then softly brushes his lips over mine. “I will go wherever you are. I don’t care how tiny the bed is as long as my arms are around you.” He cradles my face in his big hands, thumbs on the sides of my cheeks. “I am so deeply sorry for the ways I’ve hurt you. You’ve always asked me to prove things to you. To show you. But sometimes, I think you need to hear the words too. Because you didn’t hear them enough from the people in your life before.

“I love you, and I wouldn’t be who I am without you. I need you. I need you like I need air to breathe. Not because you makeme comfortable. Not because you make me whole. It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you. You’re pure magic, Amanda. Being the one who stands by your side is the best position I’ve ever played. And you and me? That’s the most important team I’ve ever been a part of. The only future I care about is the one with you in it. I could live a thousand lives, achieve a thousand dreams, but they’d all be empty without you. Baseball was my first love, but you’re the love of my life. I can only live without one of those things. I need you, Mands. I love you. I’m sorry I haven’t been the man you’ve deserved lately, but I’m working hard to fix that, and if you let me have this chance, I promise you I’ll never stop.”

I fully break down. Tears pouring out of my eyes, chest shaking, snot bubbles coming out of my nose. It’s not sexy, but it’s real. It’s raw. It’s as honest as the words he just said, and for once, I don’t feel a need to question them. I don’t need him to prove it. I know they’re true because I feel them in my heart.

“I love you too. I’m sorry I didn’t open up to you the way I should have. I was so afraid of being hurt—of losing you?—”

“You will never lose me. I’m yours. Forever. You’re mine. Got it?”

I nod, and he lifts me into his arms, capturing my lips in a bruising kiss.

I wrap my arms and legs around him, holding on tightly as he carries me out of the room.

“There’s one room we haven’t seen yet,” he mutters against my lips.

My core heats, desire pouring through me and mixing with the intense emotions.

He carries me into our bedroom, and again, I’m hit with the overwhelming sense of home. He’s taken a few of the wall hangings from our apartment back home and hung them up in here.

“What do you think?”

As he sets me down, I spin around and take it all in. There’s a half-bath attached and a big window that looks out on the street.

“I’m just wondering how comfortable the mattress is.”

He wraps his arms around me, hands firmly gripping my ass. “You want to find out?”

I sigh happily. “I want you. However you’ll have me.”

He stares at me for a moment, emotion flitting through his eyes, then his lips are on mine again, and it wouldn’t matter where I am, I’m home. As long as I have his heart and he has mine, I always will be.

Jamie

Fuck,Amanda is stunning. She’s beautiful, no matter how she looks or feels. But seeing her naked, splayed out on this brand-new bed, finally looking peaceful again—she’s never been more gorgeous.

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