Page 154 of The Future Play

I shrug. “Most of the time, I was acting like an idiot with my friends. That was my pregame ritual.”

Marc, who overheard me ask that and stopped to listen, says, “Well you’re surrounded by idiots to do that with here.”

“You want something to get you focused on the game, you should think about why you’re here. The best moment of your life,” Beau says.

The best moment of my life. There’s a flash of Amanda in that gorgeous sundress on our first official date. Then there’s a memory of dancing with her at Rae and Aaron’s wedding—and how we laid in bed that night talking about what we’d want our wedding to look like. Another flash of Amanda, but this time it’s her lying naked beneath me during a marathon sex session. Then a glimpse of her decked out in Knights gear for my first game with them.

“Whoa, where’d you go? That long of a memory?” Beau asks.

I laugh. “I—why would my best moment or moments help ground me in baseball?”

Beau’s brow furrows. “Being drafted…”

My eyes go wide.Oh.

“Wait. Is that not your best memory?” Beau asks.

“I’m going to guess not,” Ryan says, trying not to laugh.

“Life is more than the game,” Marc says, smacking Beau on the shoulder as he walks away.

Conversation continues, but I turn back to my cubby. As I get ready, the best and most important moments with Amanda play through my mind like a greatest hits album.

Over the last two weeks, I’ve tried to find ways to show her I know I messed up and I want to move things in the right direction. Other than leaving her those voice notes, I haven’t come up with much, but suddenly an entire plan unfolds in my mind. I’ve gotta be out of my head and focused on pitching soon, but until then, I grab my phone and start typing up ideas.

My fourth winin a row feels good, even if I wish Amanda was here to see it. But I’m going to take care of that. I have a plan. Or the beginning of one. I’m going to need a lot of help, and maybe a miracle, but I’m determined to make this happen.

“Mom!” I call, waving as I get to where the group of friends and family are waiting for the players.

She grabs Penny’s hand and comes over to hug me.

“Great game, honey.”

“Thanks.” I bend down and give Penny a hug, but when I let go, I’m on the receiving end of her sassiest glare.

“How come Amanda isn’t here?”

As I stand up, I exchange a look with Mom, who knows the whole story.

“Wait,” Penny says, eyes filling with tears. “Did you break up?”

“No. No, buddy. We didn’t. We’re just having a hard time right now.”

“Why?”

“Because I did some things that hurt her feelings.”

Penny’s tear-stained eyes lift to me. “Did you kiss another girl?”

“No. I would never do that. But I wasn’t showing Amanda that I cared about her the way I needed to.”

She huffs and rolls her eyes. “Of course you weren’t. Boys are dumb.”

Mom stifles a laugh as I sigh.

“You’re right. We are. I’m working on a plan to fix it. Want to help me?”

Her little face lights up. “Yes, please.”

---