Page 177 of Harley & Her Ferals

I can’t let River relive this.

Except, I don’t normally sleep with him.

What if this is a recurring nightmare for him? Has he had this nightmare, while he’s been alone in this room, since his parents were killed?

He still doesn’t wake up.

My eyes smart with tears.

I clasp River more tightly to my chest like somehow, I can travel into the past and protect the Beta kid who needed me.

But I can’t.

River is talking fast in Italian now. I can’t understand it, but it sounds like desperate begging.

When River starts to cry, I can’t stand it anymore.

I shake him again.

This time, his blue eyes fly open.

River stares at me in confusion, dazed and frightened. “Mamma?”

Then he drops his head to my neck. I can only tell that he’s silently sobbing by the way that his shoulders are shaking.

A tear traces down my cheek.

I rub his shoulders, soothingly. “You’re in my suite. Bonded to the Feral pack. I’m here, Riv. I’ll always be here.”

When River starts to murmur in Italian against my throat, I can only make out the occasional English word. It’s as if in his distress, caught still between the dream world and waking, he’s also caught between the language of his youth and the one that he had to learn once he was in America.

But the words that I can make out chill me.

He had them shot…all of them…killed…my birthday…in front of me…over my cake…my fault because it was my party…

My heart feels like it’s been shredded.

A rage raises in me against Dad, which crystallizes in a determination to burn his entire world around him.

Finally, River raises his eyes, which are glassy with tears, to meet my gaze. “I’ve been alone with that secret for too many years.”

“You’re not alone anymore, Riv,” I reply, fiercely. “You’ll never be alone again.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Heir’s Suite, Battle House, The Alpha Underworld

“Someday, I’ll dance with you in the sun at a Sicilian festival.” River smiles dreamily, at the same time as he twirls Laurent around the room.

It’s Friday night, the evening before the death matches.

I’ve insisted that Feral takes tonight off from practicing his sparring with me, while Laurent and River take the time off from beating themselves up for not being able to work out the plan before the NPH.

If this is the final night that we can spend together, then I want a quiet evening, where we can simply enjoy each other’s company like we’re a normal pack.

It doesn’t matter how much I’m being torn up inside. I’m going to hold onto the illusion tonight.

River is distracting himself by playing the latest Jin album. He’s also dancing with Laurent around the bedroom in the low light.

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