Page 58 of The Payment

“I’ll start divorce proceedings in the morning.”His voice sounded hollow in the steel interior of the elevator.Tatiana’s eyes rounded as she looked at him.

“You’re letting me go?”

“I never should’ve used you in the war I had with Gregor, Tatiana.It was wrong, and I am sorry for everything I put you through.”

“What happened to everything changed...that I belong to you, and you would never let me go?”Confusion spread across her face like a watercolor painting.

“The world shifted, and once again, everything changed.”He smiled briefly.“I forced you to marry me.It’s not the way to start a life together.It’s not how I want to continue with my life.”

“And how exactly is that, Jarek?”She tapped her foot.

One of his eyebrows moved upward at her undisguised irritation with him.

“To be honest...I don’t know.I have no fucking idea who I am or where I belong.For twenty years, all that drove me was vengeance, and in the process, I became a different man.I don’t want to be that man anymore, but the truth is, I have no idea how to be anything else.”

“But you do, Jarek.”She surprised him by stepping closer until they stood toe to toe.Lifting her hand, she stroked his chin with a look of concentration.“He’s there, and I believe he’s stronger than the Dark One.Better and resilient enough to win the battle raging inside you.”

“What are you talking about, Tatiana?”

“Jarek Farrel, the businessman, the owner of Bolton Enterprises...the man who was charming, caring, and the one I fell in love with.That’s who you are deep inside.Why do you think you started a company like Bolton or spend millions of dollars every year on helping the poor and needy?Yes, I know about that too.You needed a lifeline to that man amid the darkness you were drowning in for all those years.It was your anchor, Jarek.If you want out of the mafia...get out.”

“No one walks away from the mafia, Tatiana.”

“Except the Somerville Irish Mafia is a legacy thatyoubuilt single-handedly...corrupt and criminal, I know, but also one where you’re the one making the rules.Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it true that only Declan and Nevil know who you are and what you look like?Everyone else, your organization included, only knows you as a sixty-year-old man called the Dark One.”

“I appreciate your belief in the good in me, Tatiana.”He shook his head as he brushed her hair back in a gesture so tender, it surprised him more than her.“Even if I made that decision, it’s not going to be an easy transition and for all I know, might not be who I really am.That’s the truth of what I’m grappling with.Who am I really?”

“I believe the better question is, who do you want to be?”She leaned closer and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.“I know which one I’d choose.”

Jarek was shaken to the core as he looked deeply into her eyes.The warmth, the entreaty, and, most of all, the acceptance he saw there made his heart race.

“There might not be one defining man.All of who I was and what I have become...that’s who I am now.I can’t go back twenty years.I am a different man.How could you choose who I am, Tatiana?Even after all I put you through?”

“Hmm...let’s dig through that mud hole, shall we?”She took a step back and started counting off on her fingers.“You took me away from two people who only saw me as a pawn in their convoluted power games, and you offered me a new outlook on life.You built me one of the most beautiful buildings in Boston and offered me the opportunity to expand.With your help, TAP is now on the way to being the largest and best logistics company in the States.

“You gave me the one thing I have yearned for my entire life...my parents, but most of all, you showed me that love can withstand anything, as long as it is fed and nurtured.You might not have realized it, but everything you did since we came to Boston was you proving to me that you do love me, no matter that you never said the words.”

“Tatiana...”Jarek feared that his heart might run away with him.

“I fell in love with you, and that’s the only reason I married you.I questioned myself about staying once you told me why you married me.It wasn’t because of the clause, and never because I wanted to get away from my grandparents.It was because deep inside, my love demanded I stay...to find your heart somewhere along the way.”She stepped into him again.“Was my heart wrong, Jarek?”

He caught her face between his hands.With his heart in his eyes, he looked at her.His voice sounded raw against her lips as he kissed her briefly.

“No, my love, and I will forever be thankful for your heart believing in a man who didn’t know he still had the ability to feel.I love you, Tatiana, and the thought of not having you in my life cripples me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Mr.Farrel.You’re stuck with me.”She wrapped her arms around his neck and nibbled on his lips.

“I have to ask this question, and I need you to answer it honestly.”His smile felt strained, as if he still couldn’t believe this wonderful woman had forgiven him all his sins.

“Will you marry me, Tatiana Polov.Again?This time with the knowledge that it is me, the man, not the vigilante, asking you to trust me with your heart.”

Tatiana’s face turned soft and warm as her love for him shone brightly from her eyes.

“Yes, Jarek Farrel.I will marry you...again.”Her cheeks turned rosy.“Except it’ll have to be quick; otherwise, I might not fit into my wedding dress.”

He frowned in confusion.“You have the metabolism of a rabbit, my love.You’ll never get fat.”

“Oh, I don’t know.I’ve heard it said that pregnant women pick up at least twenty pounds.”

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