Page 36 of Yours Until Forever

I’m not built for decisions made in the space of a single breath. I like time. Distance. A clear list of pros and cons. And preferably not decisions that come with ripple effects. That could touch my daughter if I get it wrong.

“I feel like I should have signed a waiver before agreeing to dance with you.”

“You still can.” His eyes do not let me go.

My lungs forget how to function.

Everything in me pulls tight. Conflicted.

I break eye contact first.

We can’t do this.

Inhaling a deep breath and fighting for rational thought, I meet his gaze again.

I clear my throat. “Thank you for helping me with James.”

He takes a long moment, eyes searching mine.

I hold my breath.

There’s an ocean of feelings in his eyes and I can’t tell what he’s going to do with them.

Finally, he nods and loosens his hold on me. “Any time.”

The disappointment I feel over his retreat is confusing. I asked for space, and he gave it to me. And yet, here I am, feeling all kinds of unexpected feelings over that.

God.

Did I want him to push? To ignore my line in the sand?

I’m so confused by these thoughts. I’ve never wanted a man to make a choice for me. Not once. And after being married to someone who always did, I swore off men like that.

I thought Gage was like him. I was wrong.

Gage Black doesn’t take without consent. Even when everything in his eyes says he wants to. And maybe that’s what undoes me the most.

Thankfully, the music stops, and my father appears with a microphone, ready to give his speech.

James doesn’t join me and my family for the speech.

I survive said speech.

And Gage and I ease back into safe conversation with no more dancing.

Later, after he’s dropped me home and I’m alone in bed dedicating good time to replaying every second of the night in my mind, I receive a text.

Gage:

I enjoyed myself tonight.

I stare at the message for approximately forever.

Unsure how to reply.

In the end, I don’t.

I need at least twelve more hours of thinking before I do that.

---