Page 92 of Protect

I giggle at my phone as Rowan glances at me just before he turns onto my street. “What’s so funny?”

“Teddy,” I tell him. “And that’s all I’m saying.”

Rowan side eyes me. “Fair enough, not sure I want to know anyway. That woman has a habit of saying things with no filter.”

I laugh, because he has no idea.

“You carry Hols in, I’ll bring everything else,” he says as he parks in my driveway.

I turn to face him.

“You want to stay for a while? I could beat your ass at cards?”

Rowan grins. “Prepare to go down, Vi. I’ve been practicing.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep, added your dad onGame Room, been playing every chance I can.”

I laugh and pat him on the shoulder. “I’m afraid it won’t be enough, but you can have fun trying.” I wink.

Rowan chuckles and runs his hand along his jaw just looking at me like he can’t get enough before he simply says, “Never looked forward to getting my ass kicked more, Vi.”

“You’re cheating,” I say, tossing my nine of clubs down on the table to meet Vi’s ace. “I don’t know how you’re doing it but you’re cheating.”

Violette laughs as she swipes both our cards from the center and glances down at the score— nine to six for her.

“One more point and your ass is mine, Kingsley,” she says, taking a sip of her homemade sangria.

We’re sitting on the outdoor sofa on the patio attached to her bedroom playing cards as we wait for Hollie to settle into a deeper sleep, and I’m taking in the way the moonlight hits her face every chance I get.

Violette shuffles the cards and glances over at the monitor. The sound of Hollie softly snoring at the other end of the house makes her smile.

“I should be letting you win after the day you gave, Hols,” she says as she starts to deal our cards out onto the cushion betweenus. “But I’ve never been known to hold back in a competition, so I’ll just say thank you again instead.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I say just as she flips up the trump card. It’s a Jack, the highest card she can turn up. Of course.

“And you don’t have to thank me.” I reach across the table and grab her hand. “Whatever this is between us, Violette, it’s not just you I care about. When I heard Troy wasn’t coming…I knew I had two choices. I could drive all the way to Seattle and beat his fucking ass…”

Violette laughs. “That’s how I felt.”

“Or I could make it possible for Hollie to go, and understand that Troy is the one who loses, because he didn’t get to experience that with her.” I graze her knuckles with my thumb, wanting her to understand. “The more time I spend with you, Vi, the more I realize these feelings I have for youandfor Hollie, they aren’t temporary.”

“Rowan.”

I move closer to her and enclose her small hand between my much larger ones.

“Don’t Rowan me. Anytime I want to talk to you about anything even remotely real, you brush me off. I’m not letting you anymore, Vi.” I pull her hand up and kiss the inside of her wrist, just breathing in her sweet coconut scent. I drop another kiss because I can’t help myself. I look into her eyes. “I know you’ve been through a lot, and maybe you aren’t ready to tell me how you feel but I want you to know, I’ve never felt like this before—with anyone. I know enough to know that when the right person comes along, there’s no other choice, it justis.I was too young to understand it before, but I get it now.”

Violette reaches her hand up to press her palm to my jaw. I turn my head to kiss it. “What I’m saying is, you’re my only choice, Vi, youandHollie, and I’ll wait as long as I need to foryou to be ready to accept that, but what I won’t do is pretend I’m not fucking crazy about you for one more second, because I am.”

“I’m afraid,” she says quietly. I place my hand over hers and bring them both to my lap.

“After Jacob…passed…” I can tell she still has a hard time saying the word, like it affirms he’s gone. “I had what my doctor said were panic attacks, but it wasn’t just that. I’ve had those before in my life and this didn’t feel like that. It felt like I was experiencing a glimpse of what Jacob felt when he died. We’ve always been so connected. Once I was at school, and this is going to sound crazy, but my arm just started hurting out of nowhere. Right at my elbow, I couldn’t even bend it. When I got home, my mother told me my dad had taken Jacob to the hospital—he had fractured his elbow.” Tears begin to well in her eyes and my heart feels like it’s breaking. “I get these auras, like everything around me is hazy, I feel almost faint and the weight on my chest, it’s crushing, like I can’t breathe… like I’m inhaling smoke…” Violette swipes a tear off her cheek. “It hasn’t happened in a long time but the thought of you out there, and something happening, it’s like I can feel the prickle of that heat just waiting to overtake me.” She shivers and goosebumps break out over her arms. I squeeze her hand and look into her eyes, offering her some of my own truth.

“I’m afraid too. I still see him before he cracks a joke and then heads up that ridge, it wakes me up in a cold sweat, and I’ve always felt like I suffered that loss alone, until you came home. You’re the only person who’s more connected to him than me. But I feel it too, Vi, I feel him pushing me to do things, pushing me to make choices. He’s always here.”

I take a deep breath and tell her something I’ve never even uttered out loud before.

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