Page 100 of Protect

“Such a fucking shame,” Dixon mutters taking in the burning mountainside.

“Oh shit, I’m coming for you, mama.” Caleb points his fry to the TV. “Haven’t fought a beastthisclose to home in ages.”

“Sup says it’s gonna be a rager, says he’ll be surprised if we aren’t called out there by tomorrow,” Roycie adds.

They all seem excited to get out there, but something else is happening to me. The familiar weight is sitting on my chest and suddenly I feel like I can’t take a deep enough breath.

I look up at Rowan because even though the entire table seems to know this threat was a possibility, he hasn’t mentioned it to me, not once today. I do my best to smile up at him, but fail. He sets his beer down.

“We’ll be safe,” he says quietly.

I nod, and he squeezes my thigh. I do my best to join the conversation over the next half hour as I drink the rest of my beer, but I keep getting distracted by the footage on the TV, playing the fire news that is way too close for comfort. I know about triggers, I understand the concept of them, but I don’t think I’ve ever really felt one crash into me quite like this until I focused on the flames on that damn screen and the weight sitting on my chest intensified.

I watch in what feels like slow motion as Xander stands from a few tables over and hangs up his phone.

“All right, just got the call, boys. Time to wrap this shit up, we’re headed for Knox.”

Conversation around me halts with his words.

“We report ASAP. Pack up and head out, let’s meet at base in an hour.”

I know that Knox is only twenty minutes away and if it’s spreading as fast as they say, there will be a layer of ash on my porch by morning.

Heat begins crawling up my throat.Rowan will be fine; it won’t be like Jacob,I tell myself to calm down.This is another day’s problem. Breathe, Violette.

Hewillbe like my dad. My dad came home safe every time.Get it together,I will myself, trying to breathe.

I’ve had time to process this, I walked into this. I knew this day would come, and yet as prepared as I thought I was, I could never anticipate how I’d feel the moment Xander said they were going. White hot fear creeps up the back of my neck and no matter how hard I try to stop it, it keeps coming for me. My fingers start to tingle and I feel lightheaded. I glance at the blaze consuming the west side of the mountain at the edge of town and I brace myself.

What am I doing?This iswhyI shouldn’t be dating a hotshot. This is why I shouldn’t be letting myself fall for a hotshot.

I stand and look around the table, my eyes landing on Rowan last. “I’ll be right back,” I say softly, but I haven’t even finished the words before I’m moving.

I don’t want him to see me like this. It’s not fair to him. Ineedto be brave for him.

My palms are sweating, and I feel almost dizzy as I get to the long hallway that leads to the restrooms. I bend down and rest my palms on my knees, trying and struggling to take a deep breath but it doesn’t come. Static starts to line my vision.

I hear Rowan speak, but his voice has an echo around it as I look up at him. He doesn’t hesitate. He drops to his knees in front of me.

“Vi…fuck, love. I’m here, baby, I’m here.”

“Okay, baby, sit down, I need you to do two things for me, okay?”

She nods, still struggling to breathe. “It’s okay,” she pants, “it’s…another day’s problem?—”

“I need you to take a deep breath through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Can you do that for me?” I tell her, ignoring her rambling. She’s clearly having a panic attack and she doesn’t want me to know.

Violette nods, listening and doing her best to breathe deeply. “Now, I want you to focus on my words. Take another breath and then tell me three things you can hear.” I rub her shoulder gently and she tries to take one. “Good girl,” I tell her, wondering how many times this has happened to her before. I could see it all over her face the moment Sup announced we were heading out.

“I hear the sound of a pool cue breaking a rack,” she manages to say.

“Good girl. Another breath now,” I continue, doing my best to distract her long enough to stay with me. “Hear that Keith Urban song they never stop playing in here?” I ask. “What’s it called?”

The hint of a smile spreads over her beautiful lips as she nods. “Blue,” she answers as she takes another breath.

I hear Opp laugh, his deep methodic laugh. “Hear that chucklehead laughing?”

“Yes,” Violette answers, speaking steadily for the first time.

---