Page 68 of Protect

I shrug and stand, patting Bea’s tiny bottom as she makes the cutest little grunting sounds.

“Now that I know Rowan was just trying to help Jacob and me out of a bad situation, that he always had feelings for me…” I stroke Bea’s soft cheek with the pads of my fingers while I talk. “It changes everything, but right now he’s at home recovering so everything is easy.” I continue to pace around Teddy’s living room just needing to talk this through with her and myself. I didn’t want to bombard her right after she gave birth, but she seems comfortable enough now and willing to listen to some of my drama.

“But reality tells me he’s going to get called out again soon, which leads me to the other side of my coin. Even if I get through our past, I lived through years of my mother’s silent anxiety, ofher putting on a brave face when my father left. I know how it mademefeel, the OCD tendencies it caused me as his daughter. The thought of being with someone where the possibility of that being my everyday scares the shit out of me.”

“We cling to the fears we have because the possibility of reliving them terrifies us,” Teddy says softly. My heart aches for her and the pain she knows, especially staring down at her darling new baby.

“I just haven’t had five minutes of thought that don’t include him since, and my head is a mess of hormones, all my fears, and history.”

Teddy nods. “It’s a combo alright.” She yawns.

I sigh and reclaim my seat beside her.

“He sacrificed his own wants and needs to protect youandyour brother, and he never wanted you to know after Jacob passed because drugs and breaking and entering leaves a stain on your brother’s ghost? Vi, there’s something so stand up and loyal about that. Kind of shows you who he really is.”

“I know this, trust me. He’s exactly who I always thought he was,” I tell her.

She adjusts herself on the couch as she talks, she’s sore for sure. Thankfully, Logan’s mom is here for a couple of weeks to help out with the kids. Teddy may have lost her husband, but his parents are so supportive, and so is Cal.

“I have to say it’s also kind of…hot. He sacrificed his feelings for yours,” she says in a dreamy tone, munching on another fry.

“So you see my problem?” I sigh. “And there’s more,” I admit. “He really seems to genuinely like hanging out with both meandHollie.”

“I’m sure that doesn’t help your hormones.”

I sigh. “Yesterday, he brought both himself and Hollie snacks and juice boxes to the park,” I deadpan.

“Oh, my goodness, he didn’t?”

I nod. “He did.”

“So, let’s think logically about this. He isn’t who you thought he was for the last ten years, turns out he’s much, much better, he’s awesome with Hollie.” Teddy counts the items off on her fingers. “He isclearlycrazy about you, he’s a hard worker—a real hero, if you will—fighting fires out in the rugged wilderness, saving towns and wildlife from carnage,” she says like she’s writing his biography.

I laugh at her description.

“And he’s easy on the eyes, to put it mildly. But you’re still questioning because you have a fear of really putting yourself out there and losing someone you’re close to again. Have I got all that right?”

“Dammit, Teddy, yes,” I whisper, rocking her sweet new bundle. “I’m working on it. I want to let him in,” I add, glancing at Hollie happily munching her own kid’s meal with Teddy’s kids as they watch a Disney movie.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but the face you make when you talk about him? You let him in a long time ago.”

I turn my gaze back to my friend. “Why you gotta be super momandsuper right all the time?”

“I don’t feel like super mom.” She grins. “Maybe I will once this ibuprofen kicks in, still a bit sore.”

We both laugh and I look down at Bea’s sweet little scrunchy face.

“Thank goodness your mom’s hunk of a neighbor was home to help,” I say to Bea.

Teddy laughs. “Ugh…don’t remind me.”

I look over at her and smile. “I see the way you look at him when you talk about the sweet things he does for you. I think it was fate for him to be the one to come to your rescue.”

Teddy blushes pink. “Whatever it was, I did not expect him to be catching my daughter.”

I look down at sweet little Bea, already so in love. “Things just have a way of working out the way they’re supposed to. I call it a bonding moment,” I say.

“Yeah,” Teddy says, popping the last of her fries in her mouth. “So then, Miss Things Have A Way of Working Themselves Out, are you ready to take your own advice?”

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