Page 52 of Protect

Avondale Road. Only a few blocks away. We walk down his street almost every day on our way to the park. My mind is full of his words from this afternoon.

He was falling for me…he walked into something with Jacob?

I want to believe him, and more than anything I think I want to know what happened because that time in my life has always felt unresolved. I also want to follow Teddy’s advice and trust that people can change. I want to believe he didn’t use me to begin with.

As I pop Hollie up on the counter in the bathroom and wash her face with warm water, I think back to that night on the beach and then the next day when Jacob was acting strange whenhe finally got home. He didn’t talk, I barely saw him over the next couple weeks until school ended, but after those weeks he seemed okay.

“Will there be French fries?” Hollie asks me, cutting into my thoughts as I lift her off the bathroom counter.

I smile. “I’m sure there will be, and chicken nuggets too, I bet.” I kiss her on the tip of her nose and she giggles.

“And I will come home to bed?”

“Yes, baby,” I tell her. “After dinner and the Adventure Playland.”

“But Daddy will go home, and we stay here?”

My chest aches with the idea of trying to explain the finality of divorce to a three-and-a-half-year-old.

“Yes, because Daddy has to work at the hospital, remember?” I tell her, just trying to keep it simple.

Hollie nods, her little brow furrows. “Can I bring Power Piggy?”

I smile at the only person in this world I would happily die for.

“Of course you can.”

Just as I’m finishing up her pigtails the doorbell rings. I look at Hollie in the mirror over her shoulder and make a surprised face. “Who do you think that is?” I ask her, hoping she’ll get excited. She snuggles into me instead. She’s always been attached to me and a little more cautious with Troy but that’s because we’ve been inseparable—aside from the times I’m at work—since the day she was born. I’m her constant, her safe space, and she knows it.

“Let’s go see,” I whisper to her, picking her up and propping her on my hip as I make my way to the front door.

When I pull it open Troy is on the phone. He nods at us but he doesn’t hang up.

He laughs at something the person on the other end says, and Hollie sinks into me further.

I must give him the death stare, because he says, “I gotta go,” and hangs up, then reaches out to Hollie expecting her to come to him. She doesn’t.

“Hi, angel, are you gonna come see Daddy?” he asks, rubbing the top of her head.

Hollie looks up at me.

“It’s okay,” I tell her. I set her down. “Why don’t you go get Piggy’s special cape for dinner with Daddy, okay?” I ask her

She nods. “Is there gonna be French fries?” she asks Troy.

He gets down on his knees in front of her, and I’m happy to see he’s giving her his utmost attention for the moment. I know somewhere in there, he’s gotta be capable of being a good dad.

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll make sure there is, okay?”

She smiles finally and nods at him. “Okay.” And then she runs down the hallway to her room.

“What’s the matter with Hols?” Troy asks me when she’s out of earshot, like I’ve done something to her.

I turn to face him with the fire of a thousand suns.

“There’s nothingwrongwith her, she hasn’t seen you in over three weeks. That’s a long time for her.”

“I had to work.” He shrugs.

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