“Yeah, just wanted you to hear it from me.”
I set my jaw. It physically pains me to not be with my squad. “I wish I could come with.”
“Soon enough, just heal.”
I nod again.
“Something else.” Sup looks at me, and I know that look, one that says he’s about to have a heart to heart with me. “Your body is healing, but how areyou?” He taps his temple with his first finger.
I shrug. “I’m okay.”
“Yeah?”
I sigh. He knows me too well to bullshit him. “Sometimes, when I’m falling asleep, I’m right back in those woods, falling into that hole. I can feel the heat.” I think for a beat. “But that’s not what scares me awake.”
Sup folds his arms over his chest, listening intently. It’s what he’s good at.
“It’s the thought that I was in there for five seconds.Five.Jacob was in there so much longer, and I think about that. I think about your dad. It's just that…now, I can almost imagine what they went through in those last moments. If I had been stuck in there just a little longer?—”
Sup nods and sets his jaw. “But you weren’t. You’re here. There’s a reason for that.”
“I have no fucking clue why,” I say honestly. “Why did I survive and they didn’t?” I blurt out.
Sup shrugs. “Who knows? But you did. You got a chance to go on. They didn’t.” Sup gives me his all-knowing look. “Kinda pressures you to make sure you aren’t leaving anything off the table with people you care about, yeah?”
My gaze meets his and I wonder if he can tell I’m starting to have some pretty strong feelings, maybe feelings that never went away for Violette.
“Y’understand?” he asks.
I blow out a breath and nod. There’s something so easy about Sup. He’s like the older brother I never had.
“I hear you,” I say to him.
“Good.”
“Knock, knock,”
I hear Violette’s voice. She’s leaning in the doorway and when I turn to face her something in me just settles. It’s only been two days since I saw her last but somehow, she looks even more beautiful. She’s wearing black scrubs that hug her everywhere they should, and her hair is in a long braid that hangs down her back. I wonder briefly if she heard any of that conversation.
“Morning, Violette,” Sup says to her with an easy grin.
“Your patient here is trying to get me to bust him out and take him with me to Wyoming.”
She smiles, but there’s something not quite right about it. “Is he now?”
“Fucking right,” I answer. “Can’t wait to get back out there.”
Violette’s eyes meet mine and I see something there I haven’t seen yet—hesitation. And worry. Like the idea of me fighting fires worries her.
“You need…more time to heal,” Violette says, averting her eyes.
Holy fuck, she’s definitely worried…aboutme.
My eyes meet Sup’s across the room. He gives me the two finger point from his eyes to mine, when Violette isn’t looking, just to let me know he’s most definitely on to me.
I don’t care, I just keep smiling, because now Iknow. Whether Violette wants to admit it or not, she still cares about me…andthatI can work with.
“Violette has shown you how to change your dressings?”