Page 36 of Riot

“Because I’ve seen real monsters, Riot. I laid next to one for months. I’m not saying you’re a Boy Scout, and I’m sure you’ve done shit—I kind of think it comes with the kutte—but I’ve never once been afraid you’d hurt me or cross boundaries. I’ve neveronce worried you’d take something from me that I didn’t freely give. So, I’m not scared of you, and I never will be. I don’t care what you’ve done or what you’ll do. It’ll never be as bad as what he did.”

His jaw tightens, his eyes hard as he lets out a sharp exhale. “You were too good for that prick. And youaresafe with me,” he says. “I’d rather put a knife in my chest than think you’re afraid of me for even a second.”

Dramatic as hell, but my heart still swoons.

“And I’m sorry if you’re pissed at what just happened,” he doesn’t sound sorry at all, “but I won’t apologise for it either. That bastard might’ve been your friend in school, but class is out, Ivy. He ain’t a kid anymore, and neither are you. He was lookin’ at you like you were fresh meat on his plate, and you didn’t show that was a mutual thing. So, you ain’t goin’ anywhere with him ‘cause I don’t trust him with you.”

I stare at him, my heart rattling in my chest. The possessiveness should scare me as I’ve lived under control before. But this? It feels different.

“I have to live my life,” I say softly.

“I ain’t sayin’ you shouldn’t, but not with that prick.”

“Then with who, Riot? I don’t exactly have a line of men queuing up to date me. It’s not like I bring anything to the table in a relationship.”

His brows knit together, his anger flashing. “You bring plenty to the table.”

I scoff at him and push to my feet, grabbing the handle of the pram. This is too much, too deep. He’s seeing too much, and I’m feeling more than I want.

Riot follows, keeping pace with my punishing strides. He’s hurt, so I should slow down, but I can’t. I need to escape.

“Vee, stop.”

I don’t. I keep running from him, but I can’t resist throwing over my shoulder, “Sure, I’m such a great catch. I’m sure no one will notice the line of baggage I’m dragging behind me. Maybe I can add that to my dating profile.”

I don’t know why I’m still arguing. I don’t want to be with Jackson. Whatever I felt for him is as dead as the girl I was back then.

I don’t want to date either, not unless it’s the man chasing me through the park while I unravel.

Riot grabs my arm, and I have no choice but to stop. His fingers are firm, but they don’t bite into my skin.

“What the fuck, Ivy?”

My chest tightens as I tear out of his grasp, the air too thin to draw in.

“It’s not like it’s not true. And you don’t have to worry about Jackson. The second he finds out about my past, he’ll disappear anyway.” My tone is bitter. “Jackson has a reputation to uphold. I’m not the girl he’d sit at the family dinner table, Riot. Maybe he’ll fuck me, though, because that’s all I’m good for. That’s all I’ll ever be good for.” My voice shatters as tears burn my eyes.

Riot grabs my face between his hands, and I gasp in surprise, not fear. There’s both anger and maybe anguish in his eyes.

“I don’t ever want to hear you talk like that again, understand?” My eyes are burning, but I continue to hold my tears back. I’ve already embarrassed myself enough.

“I hear you,” I say quietly, turning away. I want this over. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. No one could ever…” I break off, my voice cracking as the emotions I am trying to hold back fracture.

“Could ever what?”

Love me.

The answer sits on the tip of my tongue, but it sounds pathetic. I am pathetic.

“Could what?” he repeats.

“Forget it. Can we just go home? I’m tired, and Seren’ll need feeding soon.”

He doesn’t move, making it clear this conversation isn’t over yet, at least for him.

“Those thoughts in your head are poison, Ivy, and they ain’t yours. It’s your shithead ex sayin’ that crap, and none of it is true.”How does he do that? How does he see through it all?“You’re worth a hundred thousand million times more than any of us deserve.”

I feel like I’m suffocating as his fingers brush my hair behind my ear. The move is so gentle, so loving that I choke down a sob.

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