Page 24 of Riot

That chill inside me now burns. His words are heavy and strained. I need to be careful not to let him see too much. Not to let him glimpse the fragile mess beneath the façade.

“Biker, babysitter,andtherapist—I had no idea you were so multi-talented.”

The joke falls flat. He doesn’t crack even a hint of a smile. “I’m serious.”

Fuck.I close my eyes, my grip on my composure slipping. “I know, but I’m fine, Riot.”

He doesn’t say it, but the denial hangs between us.

“My turn,” I say before he can dig out the truth with his fingernails. “Why are you really living at the clubhouse?”

His jaw ticks, and this time, he’s the one looking uncomfortable. “I told you, it’s free and it’s easy.”Now who’s lying?“Are you really happy, Vee?”

No.Never.

“Sometimes.” It’s as much as I’m willing to give him.

He nods. “Then let’s see what we can do to change that.”

FIVE

RIOT

My face ison fucking fire. The skin is taut over the bone, and there’s a deep ache in my side that flares hot every time I move.

That last round had been a short fight, which pissed me off. This pent-up rage is choking me and it needs an escape, but that fucker had a glass jaw. He folded like wet cardboard after two hits.

The other two opponents had lasted longer and been far more satisfying. They landed savage punches that calmed some of that rage swirling through me.

But not enough.

It’s never enough.

Agony screams through my chest, sharp and jagged, like every breath is made of broken glass.

Even if he’d lasted an hour, it wouldn’t have been enough. Nothing can soothe this beast inside me.

Nothing can erase it.

Fuck.

Through swollen eyes, I peer up at the inky sky. I’m not sure if the cloud is so thick that I can’t see any stars, or if I’ve damaged my optic nerve and have gone partially blind. It doesn’t matter—the pain anchors me and brings relief.

For the last week, I’ve barely been holding my shit together. Every time I look at Ivy, I see her fading a little more. Her despair, her sadness, and her fear are a thousand cuts to my body that I can’t heal.

I’ve never felt so useless in my life, and I can’t stand it.

It fucking scares me how she can switch her pain off like a light. The mask she wears is so obvious, I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.

But the cracks are showing, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen when her brain gives her no choice but to confront her past.

I don’t want to lose her to her demons, but I don’t know how to help her either. She can’t hide her pain, no matter how much she tries.

I see it.

I see her.

But I can’t do shit to make it better.

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