Page 102 of Riot

The cold air pebbles her nipples, but she doesn’t cover herself.

I kneel in front of her, peeling her underwear down her legs. “Step out, Vee.” My voice is low, steady, and like a robot, she does as instructed.

I switch on the shower, testing the temperature before stripping off my shirt and guiding her under the spray.

“You’re getting your clothes wet,” she murmurs.

“It’s okay.” I don’t want her to feel pressured or to think this is anything other than what is.

She stares at me like she can’t figure me out, but she lets me do what I need.

The hot water cascades over her, turning her blonde hair dark as it drips down her shoulders.

Then, she closes her eyes as the heat soaks into her skin.

I’ve never showered with a woman before, but I reach for the shampoo, squirting a generous amount into my palm. “Turn around.”

She does, leaning one hand on the tile in front of her. I massage the soap into her scalp.

“Riot…”

“Yeah, baby?”

“How can you stand to touch me?”

Fuck.She’s landing blow after blow, but this one almost brings me to my knees.

“‘Cause I love you.”

“But I’m disgusting.” Her voice is fragile. “Everything I touch turns to shit.”

I turn her gently. I need her to see me, to hear me, to understand what I’m about to say to her, but she keeps her lashes lowered.

That won’t fuckin’ work for me.

I hook a finger under her chin, lifting it until her gaze finally finds mine.

“There’s nothin’ about you that’s disgusting, Vee. Not a single fuckin’ thing. You are so perfect, so beautiful and strong, and kind. I don’t fuckin’ deserve to breathe the same air as you, but I’m a selfish bastard ‘cause I can’t be anywhere else but at your side.”

Her eyes search mine, as if looking for the lie. Then, her shoulders sag. “I don’t know who I am anymore. Link… he broke me down to nothing, but I was healing. I was… I was coping, and then this tonight… it just reminded me that I’ve never had any control over anything.” She swallows, blinking hard as the tears flow. “People want to hurt me, and I don’t know why. What have I done that’s so bad I deserve to be—” The sob that erupts from her cuts off her words.

I wrap my arms around her, pulling her to my chest as the water pounds over us. My jeans cling to my thighs, heavy and soaked through, but I continue to hold her like she’s the air in my lungs.

“None of this is on you. You ain’t done a damn thing wrong, and it guts me that you think you have.” I press my forehead to hers, giving her my strength. “I fuckin’ love you, and it kills me that you don’t believe me when I say that.”

Her gaze slides away.

I seize her chin. Her eyes lock to mine, and I don’t falter as I speak. “I know you don’t get the gravity of me admittin’ that, but Ivy, I’ve never loved a woman in my entire fuckin’ life.”

She blinks. “Not ever?”

I repeat it, my voice steady and unshakeable. “Not ever. I love you and I want you. I know I have a lot of work to do to make you feel like you can trust me in this relationship, but I promise I’ll do that every minute of every fuckin’ day.”

She falls silent, and I let her process what I’ve said without interruption. “I’m cold.”

The water is still warm but getting tepid, and she still has soap in her hair. “I’ll rinse the shampoo quick,” I say.

When her hair is clean, I turn off the shower and grab a towel, wrapping it around her body as she trembles. Her hair hangs in limp, loose waves, her eyes distant as I drape another over her shoulders.

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