Page 98 of Must Have Been Love

“Thank you.” I have a headache, which is annoying since I want to be present for this meeting. I’m hoping it’s a result of working long hours and not me catching the flu that’s still been working its way through Liberty. I don’t have time for it, not when half my staff are out with it.

Autumn and Jesse are running the bar for me again today. Though I guess Jesse is running it for himself now that the bar is half his. But I’m still grateful for them both.

Of course Autumn insists that family helps family. Even though we’re nowhere near that.

“I hope the things you’ve heard about me are good,” I say to Dr. Methi. “Because otherwise it’s all lies.”

He laughs gently. “If it helps, I kind of knew you existed before Hudson admitted it to himself.”

I blink, surprised. “How so?”

“He was behaving differently. More angry, if anything. And nothing makes Hudson Fitzgerald angrier than losing control of a situation. Or a person. Especially himself.”

“You think he lost control over me?” I hate that it makes me feel warm. Because I think I lost control too, but in a whole different way.

“Absolutely. You wouldn’t be sitting here if he hadn’t. He’s a man who doesn’t trust easily. But once you’re in his circle…” the doctor trails off. “Anyway, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Why don’t we take a step back?”

“Okay.” I nod.

He looks me in the eye. “I thought it would make sense for us to talk one on one so I can best advise Hudson how to deal with Ayda and your relationship. Before we start, I guess I should make sure you’re on the same page as him.”

My throat feels scratchy. “Yes, of course. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want this.”

He smiles. “I’m glad to hear that. Because I have to tell you I’ve never seen Hudson as animated as he’s been in the last few weeks.”

“Is that good?” I clarify.

“Mostly. When he stopped fighting himself. So you’re new to the island, right?”

“I am, but my father grew up there. He left but kept going back. He owned a bar that he left to me. I came to the island once he passed and found I’d fallen in love with it. And the people.”

For the next forty minutes Dr. Methi listens to me, asking questions, giving prompts, until my whole life appears laid out before him. He doesn’t look shocked when I tell him about my dad’s illness, about discovering Jesse is my brother, about how Hudson and I butted heads until we were both sore from it.

“And you’ve never had a serious relationship before?” he asks.

I pull my lip between my teeth, feeling suddenly embarrassed. “Not really.” I’ve dated, I even lived with a guy for six weeks once, before he very calmly told me that his girlfriend – the one I didn’t know existed – was coming home and it was time for me to move out.

But I’ve never had somebody ask me to be in a relationship.

“Why is that do you think?” Dr. Methi asks.

“Maybe I’m not relationship material,” I say. My throat feels tight.

“Hudson seems to think you are.”

“For now.”

Dr. Methi blinks. “Why do you say it like that?” he asks. “What does ‘for now’ mean?”

I take a deep breath. I feel weirdly dizzy. “I’m well known in my family for messing things up then running away,” I confess, because as embarrassing as this is, I can’t lie to this man. Not when he wants to make sure what is decided is in Ayda’s best interest. She really is the priority here, after all.

“Tell me about a time that happened.”

I do, I tell him about dropping out of college. How furious my mom was, how I used the money I’d saved over the years to pay for a one-way ticket to Europe.

“That doesn’t sound much like messing up,” the doctor says gently. “It sounds like a young person trying to find themselves.”

“Well it took me a long time,” I say and he laughs.

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