Page 123 of Must Have Been Love

“It was her grandmother’s.”

“YES!” Dr. Methi practically claps his hands together. “What’s happening to her anyway?”

“She’s being deported. It’s with the authorities and British Embassy.”

“Good. So it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t Ayda’s fault. You know who else’s fault it wasn’t?”

I close my eyes. “Skyler’s,” I whisper.

“Exactly.” Dr. Methi clears his throat. “You can’t control everything. And you shouldn’t. Your job as a father is to lovingly teach Ayda how to take care of herself. And your job as somebody’s partner… is to understand. Not try to control. Do you get that?”

Every word feels like a jab to my already painful chest. “I do,” I say. “I do.”

“Good.” He inclines his head at the door. “I think that’s enough for today, don’t you?”

I nod, because yes it is. I’m a fucking idiot. A mess.

And I hurt the woman I promised never to hurt. She was so vulnerable that night and I pushed her away to protect myself. Dr. Methi is right, being in control has never been about anybody else. It’s always been about me.

And it’s ruining my life.

I stand and shake his hand, then go out and get Ayda from the receptionist, because I need to think about this. Really fucking think. Ayda smiles happily at me, and I hug her tight.

She pats my face with her hands, like she’s trying to cheer me up, and I have to wince, because she’s hit my bruise right dead center.

“Shall we go home?” I ask her and she nods. “You don’t want ice cream first?” She shakes her head.

Okay then. I take her hand and we walk out into the hallway, and she’s so damn jaunty as she walks it almost makes me smile. It certainly makes me distracted because it’s not until the elevator door pings that I realize it’s open.

And Skyler Brown steps out, looking like a cool fucking drink on a hot day.

thirty-five

SKYLER

My heart does some kind of flip as I step out of the elevator and Ayda rushes over. She throws her arms around my legs and presses her face against them. I hunker down, letting her hug my body instead, pushing the hair from her eyes so I can take a good look at her.

“Hey honey,” I say. “How’re you doing?”

She smiles in response.

“You look so good,” I tell her. “Is that a Minnie Mouse t-shirt?” I look at Princess Minnie on her front. “I wonder if they make those in adult sizes.”

I look up at Hudson, who’s carefully watching the two of us. His gaze locks with mine and it’s like the earth beneath my feet shatters.

“Hi,” I breathe. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t want me…” I look at Ayda.

“No, it’s fine. She’s missed you.”

I look at his jaw. There’s a yellowing bruise on his skin. It looks like Jesse got him good. No wonder his knuckles were hurting. I know from personal experience what a hard jaw Hudson Fitzgerald has.

“How are you?” he asks softly.

I look at him, the man I loved. That I still love. The father of the baby growing inside of me. He needs to know. I need to tell him.

But not here, and not in front of Ayda.

“I’m doing okay.” That’s as much as I can tell him.

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