Page 121 of Must Have Been Love

Lee’s right. I belong there. My heart is there, even if it’s cracked right now. Okay, it’s broken and torn. But I need to get back.

“You’re coming home?” Jesse says, beaming. And I nod.

“Thank god,” he says, hugging me tight. Over his shoulder I can see Lee smiling at us. I give her a tentative smile back and she nods.

It makes me realize. Family isn’t what somebody else tells you it has to be. It’s what you make it. It’s messy and it’s joyful and it’s sad. But it’s what I’ve wanted all my life and I have it. Both in California and on Liberty.

And I’m not going to let it go.

* * *

HUDSON

“That looks painful,” Dr. Methi says, a smile playing at his lips as he takes in the bruise on my jaw. It’s burgundy with the threat of ochre, and it’s tender as hell.

“It’s fine,” I lie.

“How did you get it?”

I let out a sigh. “I walked into a door.”

“Did the door have a fist?” he asks, still smiling. He looks like he’s enjoying this way too much for the amount I pay him.

“It doesn’t matter.” I shake my head. “Now can we talk about Ayda please?”

She’s just had her session with him and she’s in the outer room playing under the watchful gaze of the receptionist. She seems fine. Better than me. But she’s also been edgy every time we pass The Salty Dog.

She tried to drag me in the other day and almost started crying when I wouldn’t let her.

I’m not welcome there, that’s for sure. Jesse’s made that clear, and he’s in charge.

“Ayda is doing very well,” Dr. Methi says, still staring at my jaw. “But she needs a father who’s doing well too.”

“I’m doing fine,” I say, gritting my teeth.

“You’re getting into fist fights.”

“There was no fight. I didn’t hit back.”

“You didn’t?” He lifts his brow. “That’s interesting.”

“Is it?” I frown, because there’s nothing interesting about the downward plummet my life is taking.

“It is. You don’t strike me as a man who lets people hit him for no reason.” He looks at my jaw again. “You’re a man who always likes to be in control.”

“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” I say, feeling tetchy.

“Or maybe you’re changing. Why did you let yourself be hit without retaliating?”

He’s not letting this go. “Because it was Skyler’s brother who hit me.”

His smile widens.

“I’m glad that amuses you,” I mutter.

“It just tells me what I already know is true.”

“What’s that?”

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