Page 74 of Must Have Been Love

“Not likethat,” I tell her.

“Of course not. He’s not the one I see sneaking around your place desperate to see you.” She grins at me, and panic suddenly washes through me.

“What?” Autumn asks.

“Nothing,” I say quickly. “She’s confused. She probably sees Jesse come over most evenings after work. It’s only to chat.” I look at Eileen. “There’s nothing going on between us.”

“I know that, silly.” She wrinkles her nose. “That would be ugh. Especially when he’s your…”

“Eileen!” Autumn shouts out, her voice lifting an octave. There’s something in her panicked tone that makes me do a double take.

I look from Eileen to Autumn, who is pointedly not meeting my gaze.

“What’s going on?” I ask, completely aware that they both know something I don’t. Autumn lets out a strangled groan.

“Oh God.” Eileen takes another sip of coffee. “She didn’t hear me, did she?”

“I didn’t hear what?” I ask Eileen. I’m confused, but it’s the kind of confused that you’re on the edge of de-confusing.

Like the darkness right next to the light.

“What were you going to say about Jesse?” I demand.

“I should go home,” Eileen says, putting her cup down. “I’m very drunk.”

“No.” I put my hand on her shoulder, gently, but firm enough to stop her movement. “You said Jesse is my…” I trail off. “What is he?”

Autumn lets out another groan and I turn to look at her. “Who is he?” I demand. “What was she about to say?”

“I’m sorry.” Autumn shakes her head. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“Like what?” I’m so confused. I feel like an animal, cornered and unable to move. “Who is he?” I ask again. “What are you all trying to say?”

“Oh honey,” Eileen says, patting my arm. “I knew it was bad, everybody keeping this from you. I said from the start that secrets can only lead to trouble.”

“What’s the secret?” I demand, my voice low and thick.

She takes a deep breath, looking like she’d prefer to be anywhere but here, drunk on my bar stool. “Please don’t be angry,” Eileen says. Over her shoulder I can see Autumn’s face wrinkle in angst. “But Jesse is your brother.”

twenty-three

SKYLER

From the way Autumn winces I immediately know it’s true. Jesse is mybrother. All this time he’s been coming over to see me and he’s known and he hasn’t told me. Nobody has told me. I’ve been living here on the island, a few hundred yards away from somebody whose blood is the same as mine and I had no damn clue.

“You’ve been hiding this from me too?” I ask Autumn, feeling betrayed.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask. Then a horrific thought comes into my mind. “Does everybody know?” And of course by everybody I mean Hudson. Did he know I was being lied to while we had sex in this bar? As he made love to me on the beach?

While he made me come in my apartment only hours ago?

Of course he did. I can tell that by the way Autumn shifts her feet. I feel sick. Like I’m some kind of experiment everybody has enjoyed watching.

How could they? How could they let me go on with my daily life not knowing?

“How could you all say nothing?” I ask again, unable to keep the sob from my voice.

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