Page 135 of Must Have Been Love

“When she says it’s all right, I’ll be there with all my suitcases,” I told him last week when we were curled around each other in my bed. Autumn had Ayda for the night and Hudson insisted on a ‘bed night’ which involved eating, sleeping, and having glorious sex in bed.

I’m all for it.

We went for my sixteen week ultrasound last week on the mainland. Which is where the baby will be born, in a beautiful hospital that Hudson insists is the best.

I cried when I saw the outline of our baby against the dark screen. He or she – because they couldn’t tell – was squirming, like they couldn’t bear to be still for a moment.

“She gets that from you,” Hudson remarked, when the sonographer commented how active the baby was.

And then the technician added that the baby was being stubborn and I practically shouted with laughter.

“He definitely gets that from you,” I told Hudson.

I have a copy of the picture on my phone. I can’t stop staring at it, this perfect piece of life that Hudson and I created together. I may not know their sex, but I know I already love them fiercely, the same way I love their sister.

The little girl who now hums along to Fleetwood Mac.

I discovered her humming the other day. She was sitting in the bar while it was closed, playing with a puzzle Hudson had brought over. Stevie was on the Jukebox, singing “Landslide” and I saw Ayda’s legs swinging, as she hummed along.

She’s humming regularly now. And yesterday she mouthed a word at me.

It was ‘no’, which was kind of funny. Especially since I’d just told her to wash her hands after we’d been playing on the beach.

It takes me ten minutes to drive up to the deserted north side of the island. I park outside the cottages – which are coming along magnificently. At some point over the last couple of months Asher has taken on the main responsibilities of leading the construction. Hudson says it’s because he’s bugging him by being around so much that he’s put him to work.

I think he secretly loves it. He now has two of his siblings here. He might be trying to let go, but it’s a hard battle for him.

I love that he tries to fight it every day.

There’s a flickering light coming from the beach. I grab my jacket and walk to the stairs that lead down the cliff to the sand below, and sure enough I can see that he’s lit a fire.

He knows I get cold. My heart fills a little more.

When I reach the sand I see him standing there waiting for me, a smile on his lips as he holds his hand out. I take it, letting him lead me down.

And then I see it. This time it’s a mini message, made with the smallest pebbles he could find. He obviously didn’t want me seeing it as I was walking down the steps. But it’s there, in beautiful browns and grays and blacks.

Marry Me.

“Hudson…” My voice cracks as I look at him. There’s this earnest expression on his face.

“I mean it,” he tells me. “Not because you’re pregnant with our child. Or because you take such good care of our first child.” My heart cracks when he calls Ayda mine. “But because you can’t live without me. The way I can’t live without you. Marry me, Skyler. Be mine.”

“I’ve always been yours,” I whisper.

He drops to his knee and takes out a ring box. It’s purple and velvet and as he opens it I gasp. Nestled against the cream silk interior is a perfect sapphire, surrounded by diamonds. It’s big and it’s kitsch and it’s so me. It makes my heart ache.

“It’s beautiful,” I whisper.

“So are you. May I?”

I give him my hand and he slides it onto my slender fingers.

“Now you have to move in with me,” he says, his lips curling.

“Not until…”

He puts his hand up. “Wait.” He grabs his phone, pulling up a video and turns it to me. Ayda is in the frame, smiling at him as he records her.

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