Page 66 of First Puck

I sucked in a breath as it happened again.

My brain froze, everything disappeared from it apart from one question I couldn’t get out of my mouth.

I’d never been shy with him, or nervous, or felt weird around him, not since the summer. Alex was my friend, my best friend, and I would say that again and again until he got what that meant to me.

I let out a slow, shuddering breath as Alex’s heavy gaze finally landed on me.

So, after everything we'd been through together, why did he like Lance and not me?

“Why did you tell him, Alex? Why did you tell Lance that you were gay and not me? We’ve basically been together forever—didn’t you think you could trust me?”

Alex pressed his lips in a tight line. “There’s a reason I didn’t tell you,” he replied through gritted teeth.

“But I would have totally understood. If you’d just told me earlier, I wouldn’t have had a problem with it.”

I stepped closer toward him, nearly trapping his hand between us. I was determined not to let go until he told me why Lance was more special to him than me.

“Why?” I asked, wishing he would turn so I could properly face him. “Why didn’t you tell me, Alex? Please, I want to know.” I’d beg him if I had to.

“Don’t you remember what you said last summer?” he suddenly snapped. “Don’t you remember how you acted after you… When you…” He really looked like he was going to collapse. “Why would I tell you anything when you called me a freak afterward?”

“What? What are you talking about? You mean when I sucked you off?”

Alex released a slow breath, looking like he was in so much pain that I had to act. Like hold his hand, or hug him, or do something so he’d stop looking like he was going to break.

“Come on, you know that was just me helping you out with a first. I’m sorry, man, I wasn’t calling you a freak. I was just weirded out by the whole thing.” I just wanted him to stop looking so hurt. “Alex, I swear, I didn’t mean it. And don’t you think that means I would have got it more than anyone else? Because of that?”

“Not like Lance does,” he said after a beat, his voice nearly cracking. He looked so fucked up, and it was totally my fault.

“You can’t say you understand, Brad. You don’t get what it’s like to have to hide yourself.”

I stopped moving, just looking at him and his stupid long brown hair and his fucking pretty eyes that avoided me with everything he had.

“Then don’t, Alex,” I said, so close I was nearly pressing myself up against him. “Come on, I want to see every little bit of you. I want you to show me everything.”

Alex pursed his lips, looking away from me, the hand under my wrist clenching hard. The spike of pain was nothing if it meant I could fix it.

“Please don’t push me, Brad. I’m not that strong.”

I reached out, wrapping my fingers around his bicep, nudging him. My thighs were almost on his, and I was so close that I could see flecks of green in his eyes as I brought him back, making him look at me.

“I’m sorry, Alex. I just want to be there for you.”And touch you, and kiss you, and be the one to fuck you first, because I can’t stand the idea that someone might take that from me—from us.

Alex’s head dropped as I continued, “I just want to help. And I know I was a dick back then, but I swear I can do better. I’ll be better than Lance.”

“Yeah, but ask yourself why you care, Brad.” His glare came back with full force as he flexed under me. “Why does it matter if I like someone when you’ve had girlfriends before?”

“Because I…I…” My mouth flapped wordlessly as anger swept across Alex’s face. “I just want…”

“For God’s sake,” Alex growled, and the sound was so sexy it went straight to my cock. But I didn’t have any time to react when Alex suddenly yanked my shoulder. I gasped as he tugged me to him, his lips crashing into mine.

And then he was on me, smothering me in his arms, leading the kiss as I melted under him. I moaned, the noise echoing in our hollow mouths as I opened up and gave myself to him.

It was what I’d been after for days. Lying in bed, hoping he would somehow leave himself vulnerable so I could push him against the counter or the door or take him in the shower or do something to make sure he didn’t give it all to Lance.

“Oh fuck,” I groaned before he licked my bottom lip and plunged back into me. It was just like before, like he was trying to absorb me. He was so bad at kissing, and it just turned me on even more. Because it meant I could teach him, and there was only one way to learn.

I loved how enthusiastic he was, but his teeth hit against mine and I knew he needed some proper loving. And I was so,sohappy to give it to him.

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