Page 3 of First Puck

“Seriously though, man, thanks for coming out. Even if you’re just hanging back, it’s always better when I know you’re around,” he said as I lowered my beer. I gave him a small smile, even though it made it worse when he told me things like that. Because I didn’t want to lose it.

“Plus, I'm going to make sure we have the best summer in a million years. No one is ever going to top it.”

“I dunno,” I replied. “We had a pretty good one last year.” We’d spent three months playing hockey non-stop to prepare for scouts coming throughout the last year of high school.

“And it totally paid off, didn’t it? Mr. Big Shot.”

He gave me a wry grin, and I tried to stop my expression from darkening as even more guilt swam to the surface.

But, I didn’t have the chance to apologize for the millionth time for being drafted without him, as Brad skipped over the touch of awkwardness which had built up between us.

“What was Suzy saying, anyway?” Brad asked. “I thought you and her had another thing going on? You’ve been hanging out loads recently.”

“I told you, we broke up ages ago,” I said as I avoided his gaze.

“Please, Tasha and I broke up ages ago, and she said she’d still give me a blowie out in the woods if I bought her something from Sephora.”

I got the same annoying rush of jealousy and excitement whenever he talked about who he was fucking. It was dumb of me to think I ever had a chance with him, but it didn’t stop me fantasizing.

I was trying to act natural, but it was too hard when he was just messing around like he always did. I needed to tell him how I felt in a way that wouldn’t make it weird. But there was always an excuse. Even when I was completely ready, I’d find a way to put it off. I just had to do it. I had to just spit it out and then wait for the consequences.

“Hey, look…” I cleared my throat, dragging in a breath. “I’ve got to tell you something…” I looked back at him, giving me the same open smile he’d had since we were kids.

“What, you’ve never had a blowie before?” he asked, as he lifted his bottle to take a sip.

I choked as he knocked the wind right out of me. Suddenly, I was coughing and spluttering on nothing, slapping my hand over my mouth to control myself.

I slammed my other palm down on the log to keep myself upright. Cheeks red, I heaved, scrabbling for a breath. All I could see were Brad’s lucky red sneakers and feel the weight of his stare boring into me.

“Wait, hang on. You’ve never had your cock sucked before?” His voice cut through my coughing fit of embarrassment. I shot my gaze up to find his eyes wide, the bottle held to his mouth.

Like an old habit I couldn’t kill, I followed the line of the bottle from his circled hand along the glass neck to the place where it dented his bottom lip.

I shook my head, so glad it was nighttime, and the only thing lighting my face was the roaring fire which weaved shadows on the trees behind me.

Gasping, lungs tight enough they were burning, I managed to find a puff of air.

“You’re serious?” he said with such a shocked expression, I could have hit him. “Like…not even with Suzy?”

“No,” I croaked. “No, not with Suzy.”

“Then…no one?”

I swear my face was hotter than the fire. I wheezed as I nodded. “No one.”

“Wooooow, okay. I just assumed… Like, I never asked, but… Wow.”

He just blinked at me. I had to crane my neck to look at him, and it felt like such a huge task when I was under his scrutiny.

Brad tended to over-share when it came to sex, but after I spent ages dodging any questions about my non-existent sex life with Suzy when we first ‘hooked up,’ he got the hint and didn’t mention anything again.

If he was this shocked about me not having had a blow job before, how was he going to react when he found out I was gay?

“Why didn’t you tell me, man? We coulda sorted this out ages ago.”

“It’s not something to sort out,” I replied. It wasn’t that simple, especially when my dick only got hard around him.

His eyebrows scrunched together as he stared at me. “But, like, it’s one of your firsts, right? I mean, I just guessed you didn’t want to tell me about those things, even though I told you all of mine.”

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