Page 79 of Storm of Blood and Shadow

By the time the new apartment is ready for my family, I’ve already been on the mainland for nearly a month, and I plan to stay another few days to help them move their belongings and settle in. I send another message to Varex, and Hinarax promises to return with a reply from the prince.

But the days pass, and the bronze dragon does not visit again, nor does any word come from Varex.

We manage to get everything moved into the new place, which is spacious, clean, and fully paid for, thanks to Varex’s treasure. No one will be able to displace Ethalie and her children again, and there’s a city school around the corner where Miri and Lark will be able to attend classes. With the money I got from Lord Neran, I paid for their tuition for the next year.

Ethalie’s job at the inn is a steady one, and Scarla is taking on small jobs like laundry and mending as well.

I should be able breathe easier, knowing that I’ve done everything I can to help them and to set them up for a better future. But even though I’ve purged myself of the Mordvorren’s presence, a restless anxiety aches in my bones, an uncertain torment that grows worse the longer I have to go without seeing Varex or hearing from him.

Maybe he doesn’t want me anymore. Maybe my absence is a relief. Maybe he prefers not to have me there, confusing him, challenging him, demanding that he dig into his tortured past.

Maybe something has happened to him since I left. Maybe he’s miserable and sick, rendered helpless by the effort of fighting the Mordvorren’s influence. Maybe it has already taken him over, and its evil has eradicated his love for me. Maybe I’ll never see him again, never touch his scales or his skin, never hear his deep chuckle or the whimpers he makes when I’m stroking his cock.

Maybe it’s over.

One bright afternoon, I return to the impoverished part of the city where we lived for so long, and I climb all those flights of stairs to the very top of the tenement building. With no one to see to its upkeep, the garden has deteriorated. I thought perhaps someone in the building might take it over and cultivate it forthe good of all the residents, but that doesn’t appear to have happened.

I drag the bundle of red streamers out of the greenhouse where I stored them and tie them to the iron post at the corner of the building. The wind whips them out and they dance like long scarlet tentacles.

I sit on the flat, sun-soaked pavers of the roof and watch the streamers flutter and snap. If Hinarax doesn’t come today, I might go to the palace and try to find his lover, Meridian, one-time leader of the rebels. I need a dragon, any dragon. I’ll ride a fucking war balloon back to Ouroskelle if I have to.

Footsteps scuff against the stone, and I turn, alarm flaring in my chest. After all, it was on this very rooftop that I was nearly raped, before Varex saved me. I’ve come to realize that I’m more scared of men than dragons.

But there are no ruffians to be seen, only Lark. He sits down beside me, his bony knees tucked up to his chin and his skinny brown arms wrapped around them.

“Did you follow me here?” I ask him.

“Yes.” He gazes at the streamers, then at me. “You want to go back to the dragons.”

“To one particular dragon, yes.” I wince. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s alright.” He nods soberly. “You’re happier now. If the dragon prince makes you happy, you should be with him.”

When he puts it like that, it’s so simple. And it’s what Varex himself told me, back when everything felt unbearably complicated.

“I’ll visit as often as I can, I promise.”

“I know you will.” He looks up at me, and there’s a smile in his eyes even though it doesn’t reach his mouth. “You always keep your promises.”

“Look out for Miri and your mother,” I say. “And your grandmother,” I add as an afterthought.

“She doesn’t need anyone watching out for her,” he replies. “She’s tough.”

“Sometimes the tough ones are the trickiest,” I tell him. “They’re good at pretending they don’t need help, until finally they’re so hurt they can’t pretend anymore. You have to watch the tough people more closely. That way you can tell when they need you, before they know it themselves.”

He gives a contemplative nod. “That makes sense.”

The roof is swallowed up by sudden darkness, and both of us whirl around, crouched and ready to flee—two creatures who are far too used to being prey. But this time we’re not in danger, because I recognize the dragon who’s settling onto the rooftop, crushing garden beds under his gigantic claws. It’s the great black dragon, leader of the clan, prince of Ouroskelle. Kyreagan himself.

He glowers down at me from his immense height. “Jessiva.”

“Kyreagan,” I reply breathlessly. My interactions with Kyreagan have always been fraught with tension, but today I’m overjoyed to see him.

“Hinarax is off on an ‘adventure’ or some such nonsense, but he told me to look for this place, for this sign.” Kyreagan ducks his head toward the red streamers. “You will come with me now. My brother needs you.”

24

For weeks, I’ve been avoiding the other dragons, especially my brother. He knows me best, and if I’m near him too often, he’ll perceive that something is wrong with me.

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