Page 24 of Isle of Pain

If I had any laughter left in me, she’d hear a deep belly laugh. I’m not interested in dating. Never have been. Though when she mentions someone to love, a sinister face and tattooed hands flash across my mind. I shut that shit down quickly and look my mother straight in the eyes. “I’m not going to marry or go to university, so you can all stop hovering over me. I’ll be gone soon enough and you can all forget about me. I have the trust fund Dad set up for me and Lisa, I can raise her well.”

“Baby…” my mother starts but I get up.

“Enough!” My voice rises above its regular pitch. “I’m done entertaining this silly notion that I will be anything but Ember’s mother. Get it out of your heads, because it sure as hell isn’t in mine.”

I stomp back upstairs and close the bedroom door behind me. When I turn back to look at the place I call home, all that screams my sister’s name assaults my vision. Colours everywhere, post-it notes I haven’t touched, and her journal. If I stay one more night, I’ll explode.

Ember sleeps soundly in my arms.

On a whim, I take my phone and text the only person who’s never judged me even if he had every reason to. I don't know what Nico’s deal is, but he’s steadfast and the most non-judgmental person I’ve ever met. And he offered to host me all those weeks ago.

ME

I need a place to stay.

Instead of a response,I receive coordinates. A few seconds later, my phone pings with a text.

NICO

Give this to your pilot. See you soon.

No nonsense.Just a solution. The pressure in my chest eases and for the first time in months, my lips tip upwards. It feels alien on my face but I don’t dislike the feeling.

After placing Ember into her cot, I pull a suitcase from under the bed and pack our stuff. It only takes me half an hour. I don’t think I’ll stay long, only enough to get some fresh air. Even the hills of Sant Armellu have started to smell like decay and despair. I just need a break from everyone. Maybe even from myself.

After leaving a note to my parents on the kitchen counter, texting Giulia that I’ll be at her house in a few hours and calling a taxi, I climb up the stairs to the private jet that will take me off this godforsaken island. For being jostled around, Ember sleeps peacefully in her baby carrier. I envy her as my feet tap the floor of the airplane cabin with nerves. I’ve never flown anywhere. I’ve never left the island. Whatever awaits me on the other side of this flight can’t be worse than the hell I’ve been living at home, lost to my grief, playing my mistakes on repeat. I take a deep breath and drown a flute of champagne to take the edge off. The tart taste bursts on my tongue and my eyes close in delight. It’sthe only drink I allow myself while alone with Ember. I need to be ready for what comes next.

14

NICO

I DON’T LIKE CHANGE, BUT MAYBE IF IT’S MARIE-SHAPED, I WILL

The sense of excitement that follows Marie’s text can only be compared to when I’m about to be whipped from within an inch of my life by someone who knows how to dole out pain properly. My heart rate picks up, my five senses are on high alert, ready for this change in situation. Anticipation swims in my bloodstream stronger than any drug.

It’s been nine months since I first laid eyes on Marie Moretti and there hasn’t been a day since when I didn’t watch her through the cameras of her home, wishing I could observe her and her sadness from a closer angle. But she’s barely been outside in her garden since Lisa’s funeral and the distance that put between me and my newest obsession has been difficult to say the least.

I follow the dot of her private jet on my phone and see the moment she lands. I’m already waiting at the small landing base used for private flying an hour outside of West Hill.

The door on the flank of the jet opens and an airport worker slides stairs towards it. Then she appears.

Jet black hair that swooshes in the late summer air, big sunglasses hiding her face even though it’s only 7 am. The baby carrier strapped to her chest over a long black dress hides half of her body but it gives her an aura of authority. Like a goddess made flesh, she descends the steps. When both her feet are on solid ground, she lifts her head up and sees me, stopping short. I take it as a good sign to approach.

“Hello, Marie.”

“Hi, Nico.” She hesitates. “You didn’t have to come all the way here.” Her flustered tone makes me frown. Did she believe I’d send a chauffeur and not welcome her here?

“Of course, I did. I invited you here, Marie.”

I can’t stop saying her name. It tastes so luxurious in my mouth. No other name has ever had that effect on me. It’s both soothing and exhilarating.

The early morning sun catches on her sunglasses and behind the dark tint, a tear seems lodged at the corner of her eye. My jaw clenches. I don’t know much about why she chose to come here now but that reaction is enough to send me into a murderous rage. “Why are you crying?” I ask abruptly.

She wipes the lone tear and shrugs. “Dry air inside the aircraft, probably.”

A low growl rises from inside my chest. “I don’t like it when you lie to me, Marie.” Then, I turn and motion her to follow me to the car. I had to borrow Giulia’s Mini Cooper because there was no way I could have installed a baby seat into my Valhalla and I wasn’t about to drive Marie and Ember around without proper precautions.

Marie gasps behind me and I turn to watch her lift her sunglasses to reveal sunken eyes and ashen skin that slowly turns a pretty shade of pink on her high cheekbones. The urge to touch her and feel the heat under the pad of my fingers is so sudden, I have to close my eyes and take a breath.

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