Page 11 of The Puck Player

Growing up around my dad and hockey meant I was always surrounded by guys on his teams, but none of them ever tried to cross a line with me out of respect for him. However, something tells me that Alexander is the type of guy who wouldn’t care. Imean, clearly he doesn’t, otherwise he wouldn’t have still been trying to hit on me today. A fact that would probably give my dad high blood pressure, which is why I find myself skirting around the truth with my response.

“Nope, you’re all good, although I did meet Jake, he seems nice,” I tell him, as I finally spot his car, and his frown turns into a prideful smile.

“Harper, yeah he’s a good kid, interested in coaching one day which I think he will be great at, especially if he can keep hold of that girlfriend of his, she’s a good one.”

“Yeah, Evie is really great, she’s been helping me get settled,” I tell him with a smile, as we reach his car and he moves to open the door for me.

“And are you?” he asks, pausing at the handle so I have to look at him in question. “Getting settled I mean?” he adds, and there is a vulnerability in his stare that catches me by surprise. “I know it’s early days, and you never wanted to be here, kid, but I hope we can make the best of it anyway.”

His words hit me in the chest almost as much as Alexander’s, and I can see the grief, pain, and above all, love, as clear as day in his eyes, and I have to fight against the tears that sting the back of my own, as I nod. “I’m as good as I can be,” telling him truthfully, swallowing the thick lump in my throat. “Well, I’m trying to be anyway, and I still have you, don’t I,” I add with an emotional laugh, and his soft smile almost breaks me.

“You’ll always have me, kiddo, you’re the most important person in my entire world, and have been since the moment your mom told me she was pregnant.”

I nod, having heard these words a million times since I was a kid, and I can’t help but choke out, “I just miss her so much, Dad.” The tears start to spill before I can stop them, but my dad is already there, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug that I haven’t felt since the night my mom died.

“I know, Aubs, me too,” he croaks, as we both stand right there in the parking lot, crying over the woman we both love but will never see again.

It’s raw, ugly, and downright cathartic, and it comes from the power and love of connection, not faith, and I have never felt more heard.

Once we are done falling apart, my dad pulls back and wipes my tears, before opening my car door and guiding me inside. Then we drive to the steakhouse and enjoy an amazing dinner that feels like the ones we used to share, as I catch him up on everything else in my life. I tell him about Ben and Malorie, the classes I’m taking, and the extra credit I’ve been given. We talk about my mom, and I learn new things I never knew about her from their days in school. I tell him about the movie nights we would have every time it stormed to distract me from the thunder, and the daisy chains we would make whenever they started to grow in spring, and he does nothing but listen intently and just be my dad.

By the time he pulls up outside of my apartment I feel lighter than I have in months, and it’s not because I miss my mom any less, but because I know I share that burden with him. He doesn’t say it was God's will or give me any verses to read, instead he curses the man at fault for killing her, and agrees with me that life is sometimes just so fucking unfair, and when I hug him again, I do it extra tightly, because I know tomorrow isn’t promised.

We say our goodbyes, and as I walk up to my apartment I realize how late it is, which isn’t surprising considering how long we talked over dinner, and I’m almost certain Evie will already be in her room. I let myself into the apartment, and just as I expected the lights in the living room and kitchen are only dimly lit, with the TV off, and Evie nowhere in sight. I push inside as quietly as I can, in case she is sleeping, closing the door silentlybehind me and turning the lock. I move to take a step towards the kitchen, when I hear a loud groan that has me pausing in my tracks.

What the hell was that? Is Evie okay?

A gasped moan follows, before a gruff, muffled voice groans, “Fuck, Evie, you feel so fucking good, baby.”

My eyes widen at what I can only guess are Jake’s words, before Evie moans in response. “Make me come, please.” It’s those words that have me dashing straight to my room, slipping through the door as quietly as possible and closing it behind me. More deep pleasured groans mixed with pleased moans have my heart smashing against my ribcage.

Now I’m not a prude. I know people have and enjoy sex, and this is Evie’s apartment. She can do whatever she wants, including having noisy sex with her boyfriend, but I don’t exactly have any experience with sex or any kind of sexual activity. My purity started because of my faith, but lately the decision is more of a personal one, much to Ben’s annoyance. I’m a virgin because the idea of giving myself to someone is a big deal, and yeah, Ben and I have been together for a few years now, but I have still never felt ready to share myself with him in that way.

My fingers flick to the purity ring I wear on my middle finger, a new nervous tell of mine, as I try to get my heart rate and breathing under control. I remind myself that this is normal, and just because it’s not something I’m used to or have done, doesn’t mean it’s bad. I mean, from the sound of things Evie seems to be having a great time, Jake too, and I can’t help but wonder what they are doing. Are they kissing? Are they naked? Is he running his hands all over her body? I’ve never even been touched, or touched myself, not with being devoted to my faith and now my grief, but as Evie and Jake harmonize in their pleasure, I wonder what it would be like to give myself to someone the way they have.

I stay by the door like a damn creep, listening as their moans get louder and more breathless, until a scream tears from Evie’s throat, followed by a deep grunt. Only then do they stop, sure there are some soft giggles and murmurs that I can’t fully make out through the wall, but it isn’t long before it all goes quiet and I guess they have fallen asleep. With the energy burning through my body I couldn’t possibly do the same, so I stumble to my desk and fire up my laptop, making a start on the assignment from Mr. Rogers. I read through the questions and come to only one conclusion. Evie isn’t the only one who is fucked.

For the nextcouple of days I can barely look Evie or Jake in the eye, not that they seem to notice, but I swear every time I see them together a fresh blush stains my cheek. On the plus side, my embarrassment allowed me to throw myself fully into my school work, which means I’m able to send my completed extra work to Mr. Rogers by Friday morning. A fact that had me walking around with a skip in my step that I thought couldn’t be deterred. That was until he emailed me two hours later, saying it didn’t meet his standards, and that he would require me to attend tutoring going forward twice a week. He kindly added that he’d already looked at my timetable, and arranged the lessons during my breaks starting on Monday afternoon.

I shouldn’t be surprised, the assignments were hard, and I’m grateful he is still willing to take a chance on me, I just hope the tutor is a little friendlier than he is. I must reread his pretentious email at least five times, silently cursing him, and I am still groaning at my laptop when Evie gets home.

“Mr. Rogers?” she questions, too knowingly, as she dumps her bag by the door and kicks off her shoes, joining me at the breakfast bar.

“How did you know?” I grumble back and she smirks, moving to grab a bottle of wine from the fridge.

“I took his data analytics class freshman year,” she starts, pouring herself a glass of wine. “Then again in second year,” she adds, and I can’t help but laugh.

“So it’s not just my dumbass he hates then,” I groan, snapping my laptop shut, while she shakes her head.

“You know, a great way to forget about the stress of school is to go to a party,” she coos, and I groan again.

The party that Alexander invited me to earlier in the week is taking place at his house, a house he just so happens to share with Jake. So, of course my roommate is going to be in attendance, and she has been trying to convince me to join her for the last two days.

“I’m not sure that’s true, besides I barely even know anyone,” I start, but before I can even finish getting the words out, Evie is cutting me off.

“Bree, it’ll be so chill I promise. Jake will be there with some of the team, plus a few bunnies, and I can introduce you to Maddie and Hallie,” she pleads, her argument annoyingly convincing, and I find myself sighing.

“You’ll stay by my side the entire time?” I reply in question, and her grin is blinding.

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