Page 130 of Dean

A sob leaves him, his fingers curling into my back, holding me tightly.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he chokes out. “I should have done better…I know you’re so disappointed in me.”

“No.No.”

“Mom would be so ashamed. Please don’t hate me. Please don’t hate Cash and Ford. It’s not their fault…”

I can’t make out everything he’s murmuring as I squeeze him tightly.

“No. No, Benjamin. Don’t be sorry. Don’t be ashamed of falling in love with two incredible men.”

When those words leave me, I feel him freeze and pull back, swiping at his running nose and eyes.

“What?”

“You fell in love with two men who I love like brothers. How could I be upset with you for that? I’ve had some time to think about it and I’m happy for you three.”

Ben sobs once more, his breathing sawing in and out of him as I pull him into a hug.

“Hey. Can I speak with my son privately?” I ask Ford and Cash, who are looming anxiously. “Please. Just a minute.”

Ford and Cash seem reluctant to let him go, but eventually, I lead Ben into a secluded hallway. We stare at each other awkwardly for a minute, and then Ben swipes at his eyes. “How long have you known?”

“I had suspicions for a while, I guess. It was all in the back of my mind, but it was solidified when I showed up at Ford’s and you were there.”

He huffs a laugh and groans. “Fuck. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to lie to you, I just couldn’t…”

I rest my hands on his shoulders and shake my head. “It’s okay. As long as you’re happy…”

He nods vigorously. “I am. I have been.”

“Good. Then, I’m glad.”

We just stare at each other and I pat his shoulders, squeezing them gently.

“I’ll always be your dad. But I know that, as your partners, that Cash and Ford will be the ones you usually go to, but please know you can always come to me. And now that you know I know, can we do things together again? I miss you.”

He swallows, looking a little sheepish. “Yeah, I’d love that.”

“Now listen, when you ran, Cash and Ford almost died. They’re worried about you. You should go to them. Reassure them that everything is going to be all right.”

“Will it, Dad?”

I nod and press a kiss to his forehead, feeling like he’s my little boy all over again, needing his father’s reassurance. “I guarantee it will. They just want you to be happy, and that’s enough for me.”

“How did you get to be so awesome?” Ben asks, and I roll my eyes.

“I’ve always been awesome.”

A laugh slips from his mouth and I add, “And honestly, it’s also Avery. I think I’ve changed a lot about the way I think since him.”

Ben acknowledges this, he must see it. I feel like a totally different person since he came into my life. “I’m gonna go talk to my guys,” he says, pulling me into a quick hug before moving back out to the foyer. Cash and Ford are standing there, shoulder to shoulder, their eyes narrowed, worry lining their faces as Ben approaches.

I watch him go to the two men who have been with me for decades. Who were there for me when Ben was born and when Elaine died. We’ve been through it all and to know they’re even more a part of my life, of Ben’s life, makes me fucking happy.

I’m so fucking lucky.

This really couldn’t have gone any better. I know these two will love and protect him forever.

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