Page 120 of Dean

“Probably just studying with some friends.”

The way he says that and the lilt of his voice makes me eye him a little too long. He glances away, his fingers fiddling with the salt and pepper shakers. He’s hiding something from me, but I don’t press him on it.

He’s always been very private about dating.

But fuck, I just want him totellme.

“Yeah, makes sense. It’s your last semester in college. Fuck, where did the time go? Your mom would be so proud.”

Ben peers up at me. “Yeah. I think she would be.”

Avery reaches out and threads his fingers with mine, and I watch as Ben stares at our connected bodies.

“So um…you guys together? Like officially?” he asks softly, and Avery wets his lips, looking at me before responding.

“We’re seeing where this goes,” I say after a long pause.

Avery rolls his lips between his teeth, nudging me softly. “I’d say we’re serious about one another. That’s what he meant to say.” I clear my throat, and Avery rolls his eyes at me. “He knows what he wants. He just doesn’t want to admit it.”

Ben stares at me. “Dad, you can admit it. I don’t mind. I’m really happy for you two.”

It’s silent for a long minute, and then I sigh. “Yeah. Okay. Avery’s right. He’s it for me, Ben. I…it took me a while to come to terms with it, but he’s who I want.”

Ben grins happily, looking almost giddy. “Good. I’m glad. You deserve it.”

Avery smirks at me and says, “Told you so.”

“Yeah, whatever. I know. You’re usually right. It’s a problem.”

I can’t help but lean over and place a kiss on Avery’s temple.

Ben’s eyes start to water, and I get a sinking feeling in my gut.

“You okay?” I ask, and Ben nods, gulping roughly.

“Just…I had a thought. I’m fine.” He must catch me staring a little too long because he waves his hand around his face. “Just thought about Mom. You know…”

“Yeah,” I reply, and Avery puts his arm around me, sensing the way my heart clenches at the thought.

“It’s fine. Just…thought about my wedding day.”

Those words make me freeze, and I ask calmly, “You thinking about getting married?”

He shakes his head and then nods. “One day. I’d like to.”

“I’d like that too,” I reply, feeling suddenly emotional, swiping at my eyes. “I’d like to walk you down the aisle. You know, if you have someone you’re seeing…or someones…but enough of this silly crying, tell me about the old ladies in the home you work at. What have they been up to?”

Ben looks relieved at the change of subject because he smiles softly. “Oh, just the usual mischief. They’re driving Lex crazy. I swear he’s going to have a heart attack soon. Oh, and by the way, Lex told me he’s going to be stopping by as a favor to install some cameras. He said you’d be a priority.”

“Yeah, thanks for the referral. We’ve had some issues lately,” I say, not wanting to say too much and stress Ben out. I don’t need him worrying about my issues. Or Avery’s. I don’t want him to get involved.

He wiggles in his seat and fiddles with his coffee mug.

“Is everything okay?” Ben asks.

“Yeah, of course,” Avery chimes in and then asks, “But also, guess what? Your dad told me this morning that he’s going to hire some guys to come plant some trees in the yard. Do you have any special requests?”

“Oh, um, no? I guess I’ve never really thought about trees much.”

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