Page 114 of Dean

My mind grabs for some explanation other than what I’m thinking, but I just can’t come up with one. Maybe he spends more time with them than I realize. Maybe he goes to them and not me.

It makes my stomach hurt slightly. Maybe I haven’t been good enough. Maybe he needs more support.

Or maybe…hell, don’t go there.

Maybe I should go there. Maybe this is more than he’s letting on.

“Want to stay for dinner?” Ben asks.

I fiddle with the rings on my fingers and nod.

“Yeah, I could eat.”

And I could use a little more time around the three of them.

He nods and then pours me a glass, setting it next to me as I take a seat at the kitchen table.

“Where’s Avery?” Ben asks.

“He’s out with friends.” Ben eyes me, and I shrug. “He can do what he wants.”

“Of course he can,” Ben replies as Ford and Cash set the caprese salad on the table.

“Don’t eat it all, you lug,” Ford says, and I can’t help but smile up at him. I’m glad Ben has these guys in his life. If they’re who he wants to go to, then so be it.

They’ll take care of him.

“Fancy,” I say, reaching out and snagging some bread, plopping some mozzarella and a tomato onto it. I shove it in my mouth sloppily, chewing it quickly, and swallowing.

“It’s been a hell of a long time since we all hung out. I’ve missed it,” I say.

“Me too, man,” Ford says, and Cash nods. I watch them intently and see the way they peer over at Ben often.

Far more than they probably would if things were platonic.

“Life keeps getting in the way, and now that you have Avery as a roommate, you’ve been busy,” Cash says, and I eye my son, who is blushing.

Still can’t help the smirk pulling my lips up as I load up another piece of bread with cheese and shove it in my mouth. “Hey, wild thought, I know, but maybe after dinner, we can all go for a ride.”

Cash and Ford glance at one another, and Ben shifts in his seat.

“Yeah, we can do that,” he finally says, and I can’t help but feel some kind of satisfaction in this. I get to spend time with my best friends and my son.

“Good thing we made some food for us,” Cash says as he pulls out another plate from the fridge. “You eat like an animal.”

“Yeah, well, I’m hungry, and Avery isn’t home to feed me.”

“Seems so,” Ford replies, slapping me on the back as the two of them join Ben and me at the table. We polish off the caprese salad before moving to the main course, the four of us chatting about the shop and Ben’s classes until we’re all stuffed full.

“How about a ride and then cake?” Cash offers, and we all agree, standing up and grabbing our jackets. I notice Ben moving down the hallway toward the bedrooms and feel something nag at me.

Does he have stuff here? Clothes?

Is it that serious?

I don’t let myself think too hard about it. Not yet. Instead, we walk outside and grab the motorcycles.

Within minutes, the low rumble echoes down the street as we turn them on.

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