“He’s wrapped around her little finger,” Jessa says. “All of us are, really.”
“I’ve got itbad,” I admit. “Today, without even thinking about it, I thought of her as mine. I mean, I know she isn’t. Not really. But I love her so, so much.” Sadness seeps into me at the thought that she mightneverbe mine.
“Legally, she’s about to be yours,” Shelby points out.
“Well, a lot of the fake things happening around here are legal,” I answer. “That doesn’t make them real.”
Jessa and Shelby share a look and bust out laughing.
Offended, I fold my arms. “What’s so funny?”
“Wait,” Shelby starts, swiping her hand in the air. “Are you two seriously still pretending like you’re not down bad?”
“No, really—wait,” Jessa jumps in. “When ever was Wilder pretending?”
They cackle. I mad dog them.
“I haven’t been pretending about how I feel,” I argue. “I have been very upfront about the obscene things I’d like to do to Wilder.”
Shelby makes gagging noises. Jessa just giggles.
“Fifteen years, and it never gets easier,” Shelby says, her face sour.
Jessa has not forgotten her point. “Have you really not been sleeping together? When that granny stopped you from sucking faces at the game the other day, I was absolutely convinced. It was obscene, really, the way you were wrapped around his waist with his hands on your ass.”
“You’re one to talk! Once Remy did it toyouwhen you were supposed to be pretending, except you had on a dress. And no. We really haven’t.”
“Oh, come on,” Shelby says. “Admit it. We have seen y’all together—you’re not fooling anybody. There isno wayyou’re not already banging”—she makes a horking noise—“Blech, why does it taste bad?”
“Hang on,” Jessa says. “Let’s say you haven’t?—”
“We haven’t!”
“—you’re quite obviouslymadlyin love with him.”
“No idea what you’re talking about.” I take a sip of my wine with my nose in the air.
“Really?” Jessa is watching me intently. “Do youreallynot have feelings for him?”
“None. Not even a stitch.”
“Cassidy.”
“Jessamine.”
“You have been living with and publicly married to him for near a month. We have all seen you together. Will you really lie to me and tell me you feelnothingfor him?”
My face falls. I set my glass on the coffee table so I don’t have to look at her.
Her eyes widen. “Wait—do you notknowyou’re in love with him?”
I cave, groaning as I bury my face in my hands. “I don’t know,” I finally admit into my palms.
“Yeah, you do,” Shelby says helpfully and takes a drink of her wine.
“I can’t be! It’s bad. It’s terrible.” I can’t face them.
“Why is that bad, darling?” Jessa says on a laugh in her British accent that makes everything sound classic and expensive. “I rather think it’s a good thing. Isn’t it?”