Cass: Second, you’ll need to keep your tongue to yourself. I will only accept church kissing. Chaste kissing. Zero tongue. Lips together.
Wilder: I thought you said we have to sell it?
Cass: We do, but you can’t be just mugging my face in public.
Wilder: If we were together, I’d be mugging your face every chance I got, if we’re keeping it real.
Cass: Fine, how about lips parted, no tongue.
Wilder: How about subtle tongue? Polite tongue?
Cass: In opposition to what? Porn tongue?
Wilder: Obviously.
Several minutes pass.
Cass: Fine. Polite tongue. Also, don’t call me wife.
Wilder: Hold up—you called me husband last night.
Cass: Well you were being all sweet. Moment of weakness.
Wilder: Do you really hate it that much?
Several more minutes pass.
Cass: No. That’s the problem.
Wilder: What’s the penalty if I slip up?
Cass: With your tongue or the wife business?
Wilder: Either. Both.
Cass: For one, you’ll have slipped up on the whole *earn Cass’s trust back* goals.
Wilder: Also fair. But if you call me husband, the wife clause is null and void.
Cass: lol that won’t be a problem.
Wilder: Wanna make a bet?
Cass: Sure. If you get me to call you husband, I will porn tongue kiss you.
Wilder: Where?
Cass: omg your face you jackass.
Wilder: I’ll take what I can get, Cassidy.
Cass: Even scraps?
Wilder: Feed them to me and see for yourself.
Cass: goodnight Wilder.
Wilder: Night Cass.