Page 30 of Hot Shot

“Oh my God,stop,” she whisper-hisses. “I amso madat you.”

Everything in me is darkness as I stalk toward her. “What do you want me to do, Cass?” In a heartbeat, I drop to my kneesat her feet. Her face opens up with shock. “You want me on my knees?” I grab her by the hips, my fingers digging into her flesh as I look up the line of her body, pull her so close my chin grazes her stomach. “I fucked up when I let you go. I fucked up when I didn’t send the papers, and I fucked up when I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry. I wish I’d made a hundred different choices, but I’m here, now. And I know I have no right to ask you for help, but I don’t know what to do. So I am on my knees, begging you, Cass.Please,will you help me? I’ll give you anything. Just say yes.”

She searches my face, a war behind her shining eyes, and for a moment, panic seizes me. She’s going to say no. And then what?

Then I lose it all.

My hope sinks, dragged into the depths of me by my own selfishness. I lose it all. And what about her? I’ve asked her for the impossible, the unreasonable. I look down, close my eyes. Press my forehead to her for a fleeting moment before I stand.

“I-I’m sorry, Cass. I shouldn’t have asked this of you. I shouldn’t have put you in the middle of this…this…I don’t even know what the fuck it is, but it’s too much. I can’t believe I?—”

“I’ll do it.”

I blink at her. “You’ll…what?”

“I’ll do it,” she says again, the words hard, resolute. She looks away. Swallows. “You missed six years with her, and I don’t want to be the reason you miss any more. You’re right—you can help her and Ashley’s parents. And so can I.”

In a moment so thick with the pain of the past and the wounds of the present, my triumphant rise of emotion is almost too much to bear.

“Thank you.” My unsteady voice catches.

Her eyes shine with tears as she steps away, reaching for the doorknob. “Butthis?” She points her finger at me, at herself,back again, “This is all pretend. There’s no you and me, and there never will be.”

And she says it with such conviction, I almost believe her.

CHAPTER 10

READY, SET, GO

WILDER

Ifollow her out of my room and into the living room. Patty cleaned up the ice cream, and the three of them are sitting on my couch.

Shock follows me like my shadow.

Cass pauses, waits for me to catch up, and steps into stride with me. We come to a stop before them.

I don’t know what to say, how to begin. I just stare at Cricket for a long moment before kneeling at her feet, overcome by the need to atone for my absence. But I had no choice. Not until today.

She’s hugging her pillow again. The laughing little girl in the kitchen is lost, and I realize it’s my job to find her again.

“Hey, Cricket,” I say as if no one else is in the room. “Cass and I talked?—”

“You were a little bit yelling,” she notes without judgment. “We couldn’t hear you though.”

“Well, we’ve had a big day of surprises. Good surprises, I think, just a lot. You might be the best of all.”

A spark of life flickers behind her eyes. “Really?”

“Really. I know things have been hard, Cricket. But I would love to get a chance to be your dad, if you want me to.”

Shyly, she nods, and the relief I feel is palpable.

“Alright. Then we were wondering if you…if you might want to go to school here? If your grandparents are okay with it, you could stay with them on the weekends.”

Patty seems relieved and sad, smiling down at Cricket. “Oh, me and Pawpaw would love that.”

Cricket considers for a second, her brows drawn together as she assesses me. “Will I have my own room?”

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