Page 146 of Hot Shot

I’m afraid of what’s to come.

A dozen if-onlys stand between me and my daughter, and I will fight every one of them into the dirt. I just don’t know what it’s going to do to all of us if it comes to that.

God, I hope it doesn’t come to that.

Cass is watching me with concern drawn behind her eyes, across her brow. Cricket is sullen in the backseat. None of us want to get out.

I contemplate leaving. Just putting the truck in reverse and going home and tucking her into bed and climbing into my own with my wife. But tonight, I won’t get my wish.

Paul and Patty exit their front door, nudging me into action. The truck door weighs a thousand pounds, my arm so heavy it’s a separate burden. But I manage to get out.

When Patty sees Cricket, she smiles, squatting and extending her arms. “Hey, sweet girl. Come give me sugar.”

Usually, Cricket sprints, bouncing into an Olympic springboard routine that lands in Patty’s arms. But today, she drags herself over, hugging Patty halfheartedly. Patty’s face is worried when it hooks over Cricket’s shoulder.

Paul mad dogs me from the edge of the porch with a magnificent frown on his face.

Patty stands and extends a hand to her. “I made cookies. Want one?”

Cricket looks back at me with a sadness so heavy, I rub my chest where the dull ache from its blow resides.

“It’s okay, baby. Go on,” I say.

Paul’s frown deepens. Patty’s face melts. Cricket’s chin wobbles, and she drops her backpack, running for me.

I drop to my knees and catch her. All I can hear is her sobbing.

“I don’t wanna you to go.”

“I know, baby. It’s not forever. Just until we figure things out.”

“Why are you leaving me?”

I close my eyes, the fire in my ribcage consuming me. “I swear to you, I will never leave you—never.Okay? But right now, you need to stay with Nana.”

The crook of my neck is humid, wet from her tears and sobs. “I wish I lied.”

When I pull back, it’s to cup her little face and thumb her tears. “It’smylie that did this, and look at how much trouble it’s caused. I’m proud of you for telling the truth. You did the right thing. If I had, we wouldn’t be here. But it’s gonna be alright. We’ll sort all this out. Okay? And then we’ll be back together.”

She nods at her shoes, but then her face breaks, and she throws herself into my arms again. I pick her up, the sum total ofmy broken heart, and walk to Patty to hand her off, but Cricket tightens her grip, her legs clamped around my waist.

“Cricket, please,” I beg, my throat raw from the agony, but she can’t hear me over her wailing and screaming and protest. Patty is trying to coax her from behind, but I have to pry her from me by force, finger by finger, leaving stinging scratch marks where she tries to hang onto my neck.

The hardest thing I have ever done in my entire fucking life is stand there as she howls and flails and thrashes like a wild animal, screaming my name. The sight turns me into a savage, my hands fisting at my sides, my body trembling from restraint. When Cass clasps my forearm, I nearly jerk away. But her touch is a balm to my soul, and somehow I manage to stay where I am as Patty drags my child away, the desperation in her voice shredding what’s left of me.

“I’m sorry,” Paul says with a wavering voice, and I realize he’s crying too. He clears his throat. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to do this, Wilder. But what you’ve done? It’s fraud. You’ve conned us, deceived us from thesecondwe met you.”

“I didn’t lie. Cass and I have been married for ten years, just like I said.” I’m shaking so bad, my teeth rattle in my skull.

“Maybe on paper. But when we met, you weren’t together at all. You made up a whole story, lied to us and your whole damn town. Or did they all know? Did you only lie to us?”

“No! I?—”

“So you lied to everybody.” His hand trembles as he swipes the top of his head. “You set us up. You fabricated amarriagefor God’s sake, just to deceive us. To manipulate us. All this time you’ve been mad about Trent seeing her, calling us deceitful for not telling you when you’ve been lying likethis. Bothof you. I can’t believe you’d…after all we’ve been through, that you’d…”

“We did it for her.”

“You lied!”

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