Page 142 of Hot Shot

Soon enough, she deposits Cricket into the back seat and I drive us home.

All three of us look beat to hell. Cass takes my hand, our fingers twining, her other hand caging the back of mine. For a long moment, it’s quiet in the truck.

Until Cricket speaks.

“Cassie, did you mean what you said about lying?”

Cass pales—we share a look before she answers. “What did I say about lying?”

“You said you pretended to be married to Daddy.”

The silence in the cab is deafening.

I don’t even know how to begin to tell her. But I can’t lie to her either.

“Well,” I start, “it’s pretty complicated, but Cassie and I have been married for a long time. Ten years.”

Her reflection in my rearview is frowning. “Then why did she say she lied?”

Cass’s eyes are huge, her lips flat and hands clammy inside mine.

“For a long time, we weren’t together. Not until we learned about you,” I answer.

Her brows are still drawn. “But she saidpretendedto be married. So you could keep me.”

Cass opens her mouth to speak, but I squeeze her hand and shake my head. This is on me.

I draw a breath and do my best. “Remember when I said I loved you the first time I ever saw you?” She nods as I turn onto our street. “Well, I couldn’t keep you if I wasn’t…” Settled down? What’s the right word? The only one that makes sense is, “married. Cass and I got married when we were eighteen, but then we left for college and lived a long way away from each other. She moved back not too long ago, but we weren’t…” I grapple for the right terms again. “We were just friends. But she decided to move in here with us so I could keep you, even though we weren’t…well, we hadn’t…”

“We’d barely even seen each other in years, bug,” Cass answers for me.

I pull into the driveway and park, but instead of getting out, I turn in my seat. She’s unbuckled and gathering her backpack, but I stop her.

“Come here, Cricket,” I say gently.

Somberly, she does. When I open my hand on the middle console, she lays her tiny one on top, and I close it up in mine.

“You know who else I loved the first time I ever saw her?” I ask.

Her brows rise, and she glances at Cass, whose cheeks are smudged with color.

“Cassie?”

I nod. “Even all those years when I didn’t see her, I loved her every minute. So yes. We pretended we were together for a little while, but it didn’t take long until we didn’t have to pretend anymore.”

“Because I’ve always loved him too,” Cass adds. “If things had been a little different, I wouldn’t have had to pretend at all—I never would have left.”

“We did something wrong when we lied,” I admit. “Even if it was for a good reason. I didn’t want to lose the chance to be your Daddy. And I thought that was the only way I could have you.”

Cricket nods.

“Do you have more questions for us?”

She hesitates, glancing at Cass. “You said you got fired because of me.”

Cass nearly breaks, pursing her lips and shaking her head as she masters herself, reaching for Cricket’s other hand. “No, baby. No. It’s not your fault—it’s notanybody’sfault. Sometimes the world is like this, and things happen that are hard, that hurt, and there’s no reason, nobody to blame. I wish you’d heard what I said after the part that hurt you—you missed when I said I willalwayschoose you and your daddy. It doesn’t matter what I can’t have, as long as I have you.” The words wobble, her control slipping away with every tear. “I love you, Cricket. I love you so, so much.”

Cricket bursts into tears again, launching herself at Cass, who turns around in her seat so she can hug Cricket better. I can’t see them clearly for tears of my own. And for a moment, there’s nothing else to do but share this love and pain and longing, grateful to have each other.

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