Page 119 of Hot Shot

But as Cass once said—shit in one hand, wish in the other. See which one fills up first.

Thankfully, Coach keeps our post-game huddle quick, and soon enough we’re leaving the field in search of our people.

I beeline for Cass and Cricket, first greeting my daughter, then kissing my wife.

“I’m all sweaty,” I warn when she throws her arms around me.

“Oh, I don’t care.”

Everyone’s scattered around. Dad and Cass’s mom, Jenny. Molly, who Jessa abandoned to wrap herself around Remy’s face like one of those aliens from the movies. And the Wilsons are here, always close to Cricket.

Paul extends a hand, and I shake it. He’s sunburned a little, the shiny top of his head woefully pink. “Great day of ball. Glad we could make it.”

“Me too. I’m surprised this one lasted all day after yesterday.” I shuffle Cricket’s Ramblers ball cap on her head, and she giggles. Her hand is in her mitt with a ball in the crease, just like it’s been all day.

Patty shakes her head, smiling. “I don’t know if you’ve tried to tell her no, but it’s not for the weakhearted.”

Paul runs a hand over his sparse hair and winces. “I’ll be right back—lemme grab Cricket’s stuff out of the truck for you. Wanna come with me, bug?”

She lights up and steps in his direction, but she doesn’t get but a few feet away when Trent says, “Mind if I say hi?”

Silence freezes us for a heartbeat before Patty and Paul spring into smiles and hugs and friendly greetings. Cricket’s grinning, her cheeks flushed. When Trent looks down at her, I wonder if he looks like I do in the same moments, full of love and pride and longing.

Trent kneels, and she launches herself at him. When he picks her up, his eyes close tight like he’s savoring the moment.

My chest aches at the sight. I’ve thought precious little about what he might be going through, the loss of Ashley, of Cricket. In fact, other than when he’s standing in front of me or I’ve heard news on Ashley’s death—murder, they’re calling it now—I don’t think of him at all.

Guilt gnaws at me.

Because despite the tension between us, despite my mistrust, I can see the undeniable love he has for her. It’s a pure, crystalline thing.

“Didja have a good time today?” he asks Cricket, grabbing the bill of her hat and wiggling it.

“I got ice cream andtwohot dogs and a bracelet—look!” She sticks out her wrist to show him a red cord with my number on it—thirteen. His face shutters with fleeting emotions before he’s smiling again and reaches out to thumb my number.

“Hey, that’s pretty cool. You know, I saw a playground over there?—”

“I’ve been playing on it!”

“Wanna play for a minute with me? I miss you.” His tone is teasing, and he pinches at her ribs to get her giggling. “That is, if it’s okay with y'all.” Trent glances at Patty and Paul on instinct I’m sure, but they look to me and Cass. His face falls when he follows and meets my gaze again.

I don’t know how to answer, because I want to say no, but I can’t seem to find a good reason.

“Sure,” Cass says, smiling. “We’ve got a little more to tend to before we leave. Ten minutes, okay Cricket?”

“Okay, Cassie!” When he puts her down, she grabs his hand and tows him in the direction of the playground.

He casts Cass a grateful look, and that gnawing guilt sprouts teeth and bites.

We watch them go with worried looks on our faces.

“He loves her,” I note, still watching them as they approach the playground.

Patty nods. “He helped raise her.”

“Then why does he make me so nervous?” I ask.

They hesitate, sharing a look, and in that split second, my stomach drops.

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