“I can’t sleep in there without her. I’ll crash here, but you better fucking wake me up if we have anything. I don’t care howsmall.” I chug the drink in one long sip, letting it burn as it flows through my body, everything slowly coming to a screeching halt as it catches up with me.
Lex agrees, but he sounds like he’s far away, and I slowly let my eyes close, the exhaustion creeping in once I rest my head on the cushion.
The stress of Fallon’s kidnapping, on top of everything else we’ve been through these last few weeks has my body feeling seriously depleted. I don’t know what comes next, or how to find and bring Fallon home, but I just have to believe that when the time comes, I’ll know what to do.
The waves crashonto the shore delicately, and I watch from our blanket as my favorite girls swim in the ocean, the sun shining down on all of them.
There’s splashing, wave riding, lots of laughter and smiles, making this the absolute perfect beach day.
There are kids making sand castles, moms and dads digging pre-made sandwiches out of their coolers, and teenagers tossing a football away from the lines of towels and umbrellas littered across the shoreline. Some have been here since daybreak, some are just getting their day started well into the afternoon.
A small plane flies overhead, a silly insurance banner flapping in the sky as people point and shield their eyes from the sun to get a glimpse.
Seagulls stomp through the sand, looking for scraps of french fries or chips scattered from the ocean’s breeze. Music blares from the beachside bar, loud enough to hear the bass, but not enough to drown out the sounds of screaming, laughter, and memories being made.
“Come here!”
I smile, hearing the calls of my girls coming from the water, and I get up to join them.
Fallon and Cami are splashing each other, their smiles infecting everyone around them.
Pepper rides the waves, holding hands with a girl who looks familiar, but I can’t remember her name.
Her hair is tied in a slick ponytail, and her bathing suit resembles a tank top, rather than a bikini like the other girls.
Something about her feels comforting, and her presence puts me at ease, like everything is okay here.
Masha.
Her name comes back to me in waves, ones similar to the water splashing at my feet, but I can’t get closer. I’m cemented in place, the sand keeping me here on the shore, almost like a punishment.
I can’t get to Masha or Fallon.
I can’t keep them safe.
I can’t keepanyof them safe.
They’re pretending they can’t hear me screaming, begging them to come out of the water, blissfully unaware of my presence.
Am I here?
Where ishere?
This place is different, and when I look around me, nobody can hear me.
A group of kids walk right by me as if I’m not standing in the water, bumping into my arm.
I say sorry, but they don’t even turn my way.
I try harder to move my legs, pushing my body to move one inch, then another, but I’m sinking lower, my feet becoming buried under the sand and water.
I scream louder, yelling at the top of my lungs, but I can’t get through.
Come here.
Come here.
Please, come here.