Page 99 of Magic or Madness

Fallon passes the bottle around again, encouraging everyone to let loose and drink up. It’s going to be a long day, that much is guaranteed.

“Max, it’s been fifteen years, don’t you think by now they’ve all forgiven you?” Journey asks, but he shakes his head.

“Never. How could they? I lived, and they died, only because I was able to unbuckle myself and take cover from the flames. I could’ve saved them,” he whispers the last sentence, the guilt coming back in waves.

“If you did, you would’ve died too, Max. Chief Wallace has told you that so many times, it’s become a part of all our history,” Journey consoles him, holding him as the tears start to fall.

“I should've visited him when we were home,” he groans, and I shake my head, not letting him touch that rabbit hole.

“Dementia has completely stolen that man, and you know bringing up that night would only piss his daughters off even more,” I say, and Fallon elbows me in the ribs.

“Not fucking helpful,” she whispers, turning her attention to Max. “Didn’t Chief Wallace come to your grandparent's house for dinner almost every night?”

“He did. He looked after me, but after a while, I only reminded him of those he lost.” He pulls a picture out of his wallet, the last family photo taken before the accident.

Fallon marvels over the perfect-looking American family, blonde-haired, blue-eyed kids, all smiling into the camera, with parents who look like they could be snatched out of a parenting book.

In reality, Max’s mother was addicted to Xanax, and his father was a gambling addict who could never say no to another drink. The accident was his father’s fault, driving the family home from Max’s football game while drunk, swerving into the opposite lane of the highway, hitting another car head-on.

Their van almost instantly caught on fire, but Max was the only person over the age of ten who could see what was happening, and save himself. His mother was beautiful, inside and out, but her addiction was nasty, and had her in a chokehold, from what he remembers.

The talk of Max’s family eventually tapers off, with the alcohol flowing, and the vulnerability cracking the armor we all keep around ourselves.

Cami is the first one to change the subject, turning the conversion back to herself, and downing a full glass of vodka before she starts.

“My mom … if you’d even call her that,” she laughs, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Was a drug addict, and she left me toget cleanso many times that I lost count. Sometimes, she’d leave me with my dad, other times, just to spite him, I’d be with strange men, or herbest friends. By the time she was fully clean, I was sixteen and on my own, living day by day, crashing with whoever would let me, and she came back with a two-year-old. Can you imagine how pissed I was? She couldn't take care of me, but had the time to have a kid, and raise it for two years straight without relapsing? It was a slap to the fucking face.”

“Cams, you don’t have to,” Oliver interrupts, resting a hand on her shoulder, but she shakes her head, the liquor giving her all the courage to keep going.

“I’m fine, Chester,” she says, using Oliver’s last name and shrugging him off. “I forgave her, and let that little girl be my saving grace to a new relationship with a woman I barely knew anymore. It didn’t last long, of course, and I had to bail when she started drinking again. I was what, seventeen when I met you guys?”

“I think so, yeah, except you told us you were twenty,” I tease, and she rolls her eyes playfully.

“At that point in my life, I felt the weight of the world on my back, and could’ve sworn I was thirty.”

We’re all silent for a few minutes, deep breaths the only sound coming from any of us, contemplating who should be next to share our trauma. To my surprise, Fallon speaks up, but not about herself.

“What happened to them, if you don’t mind, Cami?” She asks, holding out her drink for Oliver to fill.

He makes eye contact with me, quick but unmissable, and I nod my head slightly.

If we’re all getting drunk and letting our demons out, we’re doing it together, and I silently thank Olly for always looking out for her.

“Well, it was only a matter of time before the needle was back in her arm … it’s been six years since I saw either of them and luckily, my half-sister is with a family who takes good care of her, so much so, they don’t want me around. To keep Ellis happy, and unaware of her past, they don’t want to complicate things by including me. I have to change my address with them so I still see the monthly cards, actually.” She scrambles to find her phone, the tears beginning to fall as the vulnerability breaks her down.

There’s small details that get to us all, triggering the floodgates of emotion we try to stuff down, and for Cami, the idea of missing updates on her little sister was the straw that broke her back.

“Cams, we’ll make sure you get them, don’t worry,” Oliver says, rubbing her arm and wiping the tears from her cheeks.

“I’m on it, Camila.” Lex immediately pulls out his laptop, and begins typing as we all sip our drinks silently.

“You guys don’t have to do this,” Max interjects, already slurring from his two drinks.

“We’re just talking, and I’d like to take a turn if you guys don’t mind?” Pepper speaks up, with Lex nodding his head in support.

There’s no way she can relate to all of us, but I realize as she clears her throat and begins her story that I was completely wrong about her.

“I don’t know who my parents are. I wasn’t adopted, or anything fancy, I was left on the door of a church when I was two days old. The nuns who rescued me named me Pepper, because of a tradition they had when babies were left, and it ended up sticking.” She lets out her signature giggle, but it doesn’t reach her eyes, and the sadness of her origin story is slowly sweeping across the entire room.

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