Page 86 of Magic or Madness

I sneak a peek at her, and her cheeks are flushed, but she’s smiling as big as the sky.

We've never talked about something like this, but I have an inkling of an idea that Fallon may be attracted to women – or at least Cami.

I can’t get the image out of my mind, thinking of her exploring a different side of herself with somebody who isn’t me. Ideally, it wouldn’t be Camila, my best friend’s girl, but I’d never hold her back.

“Do you all have your plates?” Fallon asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I stuff the ideas of her sexual desires down, knowing that isn’t what we came here for. Another time, another place.

Just as she says that, Max comes from behind the trees, wiping the stray tears from his cheeks, falling into us as if he’d never left.

“Alright, Bambi. What’re we supposed to do with these?”

“Destroy them. Throw them at the tree, step on them. Whatever you think will be the best way for you to let go of the things you wrote down,” she explains, and everyone nods along, listening as she speaks.

I swear, she’s taken on the motherly role of this group, and we all respect her for different reasons.

Fallon gave plates to Cami and Pepper, as well as filling out her own. Even though they’re not trying to move forward from the same things we are, she wanted everyone to be included, as it’s a healing exercise, and we all have things to put behind us, as she so gracefully put it.

One by one, we all stand, plates zipped in bags, as we decide how to break them in a way that will be beneficial.

For me, I crack the ceramic down the middle in the exact spot I intended, and I unzip the bag, leaving the half dedicated to Masha at the base of the tree.

The other half is what I wrote for the future, and I hand it to Fallon, knowing she’s the only thing important enough in my life to dream of another day with.

“You’re not breaking your plate?” Her eyebrow raised and her arms crossed over her chest, almost like a disappointed teacher looking at a student who failed their art project.

“I did. I broke it in half. One for Masha, one for you,” I say, kissing her cheek gently, holding out hope that she understands my intentions.

“Literally not the assignment, but I accept, only because of how thoughtful you are,” she smiles, taking my hand as she holds her plate in the other.

“I want to smash this on the rocks by the shore, will you come with me?” She asks, those doe-like eyes captivating me.

“Lead the way, Bambi.” I steady her by the waist as we walk along the bumpy path, ensuring she doesn’t slip or step on anything dangerous.

We’re quiet as we tread through the sand, something hanging in the air between us, which never usually happens.

“Before you smash that, are you alright?” I stop us in our tracks, spinning her to face me because this tension doesn’t feel right.

“I’m okay, why?” I cock my head, a slight smirk on my face, and rather than having to question her further, she sighs, giving into my mind-reading abilities.

“I’m letting go of my mom, stepdad, Mick, and Rae. It’s a lot, basically anything resembling family before you, and I’m a little sad. But, I don’t want to steal your pain. This trip is about you, Ozzy, not me. I shouldn't have even written a plate, but I couldn’t resist,” she confesses, staring down at the water cascading over our toes.

“You have every right to make yourself a plate, Fallon. Let go of whatever you think holds you back, hurts you, or reminds youof places that you want to forget,” I whisper, taking her face in my hands, almost willing her to believe me.

“I’m about to turn twenty-one, with the love of my life, and I want to let go of the things from my past. The future is bright, like the clouds I’ve always been surrounded by are finally clearing, and the sun is shining – just for us,” she explains, her voice falling into a soft, yet delicate tone, and I bring her close, kissing her forehead.

“Youare the sun, Fallon,” I say, watching as those brown eyes dilate, her expression changing with my words.

“You say the sweetest things to me, Ozzy. I swear, this, you and me, is all that matters,” she says, first touching her heart, and then mine.

“I know, Bambi.”

She’s soaking wet, the rain unforgiving, but something about this downpour is freeing. I could stay outside all night, letting Mother Nature take out her cruelest frustrations, and absolving me of the things I, too, have held onto for far too long.

I’m being cleansed, granted a new beginning, and there’s not a single group of people that I’d rather be with for this moment.

I look down at Fallon and from this angle, she’s tiny, but the sadness running through her body is massive, almost begging to be released.

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