Page 83 of Magic or Madness

“That was breathtaking,” I whisper, holding Fallon close to my chest.

“It was all for you,” she says, squeezing my arms and lacing her fingers through mine.

God, I wish I could frame this moment, saving for when I need it the most.

“Okay, ladies and gents. Let’s get back and have a special someone’s favorite breakfast,” Fallon calls, and we all follow her down the same trail we took on the way up here.

I always tell Fallon that Masha would’ve loved her, especially because of how smart they both are, but in reality, I could see Masha being a big sister to Fallon.

Taking care of her, spending late nights together talking about who knows what, and becoming a tight-knit force to be reckoned with.

Unfortunately, that vision will never come to life, but when I imagine it in my head, it’s a sanctuary, a place where everything is exactly how it should be.

After breakfast is cooked, eggs Benedict with a shit ton of bacon, Oliver and Fallon run off for a last-minute errand, and as much as I hate seeing her go without me, I have trust in Oliver.

He’d go to the end of the world and back to protect her, and I know that, but anyone who’s not me isn’t a hundred percent guarantee.

I’m paranoid, on alert until they return, but Fallon tasked us all with writing a few things about Masha on a ceramic plate while she’s gone, and we take her guidance knowing she’s got the best interest of us all in her heart.

I take a permanent seat on the couch, using a Sharpie to write down everything I remember about my fallen sister and the plethora of things I want to accomplish in life now that I’ve found a source of happiness outside of my all-consuming grief.

After two hours, I start to worry, but Fallon and Oliver breeze through the rental house, looking like they’ve had the best time, and I can finally relax.

“Come here.” I pull my girl right into my arms, not caring whose eyes are on us.

“Missed you,” she whispers, leading me by the hand up the stairs to our room.

“Bambi, I don’t know if I can –” I say, and she shushes me, closing the door behind us.

“I have something for you, baby.” She hands me a black paper bag, and I raise my eyebrow at her, but she pushes me on, encouraging me to open it.

I pull a small box out of the bag, wrapped in a silver ribbon, and I slowly tug at the silky fabric until it comes apart.

When I lift the lid, a gold pendant sits before me, shining in the light, and it looks slightly familiar.

“It’s the pendant for the Patron Saint of grief. Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, she lost many family members, and is supposed to help those struggling with unfathomable grief,” she explains, her voice barely a whisper as she takes my hand in hers.

She takes the delicate chain out of the box and fastens it around my neck, admiring the beauty as she smiles, and I can’t help the tears from falling.

“You bought this for me?”

“Of course, Ozzy. The one Oliver wears helps him feel connected to his dad, and I thought if there was something out there to make you feel the same with Masha, then you needed it.” She reaches on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek, and I pull her into my arms.

“How do you know exactly what I need, when I need it?” I ask, a small smirk growing across my face.

“I know you baby. Do you love it?”

“More than you know. This is everything to me,” I tell her, holding her face in my hands.

I could never repay Fallon for all that she’s done for me, but today – this gift and this trip – is almost too much.

I tug at the newly placed chain around my neck and instantly feel the connection to Masha that Fallon explained, and I’m overcome with so many emotions that all I can do is let the tears fall. Today, words aren’t needed, and my girl picks up on it right away, snuggling into my back and wrapping her arms around my waist.

I hold her hands while she holds me and I’m not afraid to feel the pain, or the loss. Fallon once told me that I hold her together, and right now, she’s doing exactly that for me.

“I love you, Fallon Morell Mariano, with every single thing inside my body and soul,” I whisper, just loud enough for her to hear.

“Anch'io ti amo, Ozzy.”

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