Page 162 of Magic or Madness

One of my favorite slow ballads cascades through the speakers, and if it helps ease the tension, even for a few minutes, I’m all for it. Ozzy takes my hand, leading the dance, and slowly moving us to the music.

“You changed me. Changed my life, you know that, Bambi?”

“I know, Ozzy. Mine too,” I whisper, letting the music run through my veins.

I’m tired of talking, worrying about what’s going to happen next – or what’s already happened – I want to spend more time in the moment, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.

“I feel like I’m making a million mistakes, Fallon. I don’t know how we got here,” Ozzy says softly, his tears falling on my collarbone.

I stroke his hair, holding him tightly, and assuring him everything will work out. I fully believe in my heart that we can conquer anything as long as we stick together, and take on the world as a solid unit.

We’ll get used to our new normal after the move, navigating a new place, new circumstances, and wherever we land will become home, just like this place.

I’ll figure out who Mr. A is, the connection between me, him, and Jacksonville.

In the not so distant future, everything will be back to normal, and we can live out what we’re dreaming of, planning the most extravagant life that our reckless imaginations come up with.

As long as I have Ozzy beside me, anything is possible.

OZZY

I fucking hate myself.

If I could, I’d rip the beating heart out of my chest and hand it to Fallon, promising her that I’m doing this for her and I’ll be back, but it’ll never be enough.

She is going to fucking hate me.

I lied to her countless times over the last twelve hours, and the laundry list is beginning to overflow.

But, my God, I love her.

More than I ever thought was possible, but when I think about someone hurting her, it pushes me forward, reminding me that I’m making the right choice.

One day, we’ll have the life we dream of, that much I’m certain of. Whether it be in a few weeks, a month or two, or years down the road. Fallon is the only woman for me, and Iwillfind her in those places where the light hasn’t yet been discovered.

But for now, this is how things need to be.

I have to leave her, to keep her safe.

Lose her, to save her.

It’s a fucked up, twisted sense of doing anything to protect the ones you love, and as much as I can’t stand it, we’ll be better off in the long run.

One thing she won’t understand, at least not right away, is that I’m doing thisforher, nottoher.

Our meeting today was harsh, the guys realizing they had to leave their girls behind, too, but we’ve been promised their safety. This client is a pain in the ass, a crazy control freak, and determined, but one thing I know for certain, is that he wants to work with us.

The girls’ safety is a condition of that, and I’m confident in leaving them behind for a short while, giving us a chance to build a rapport with him, and learn more about who we’re up against. That’s the best way to bring everyone back together safely, and we’re all on the same page.

Instead of leaving in two days like I told Fallon, we’re leaving tomorrow night.

It’s harsh, cruel, and will break her heart, but I believe in us, and she’ll eventually understand why I’m doing this.

The rooftop party is slowing down, and as I hold a sleepy Fallon against my chest, the only thing I can think of is how badly this is going to hurt me, too.

I may get the chance to make the decision, but it’s not even a competition – this is the hardest fucking thing I’ll ever do in my lifetime.

Walking away from her, traveling to a place where she can’t reach me, unable to hold her when she cries, or being the one to bring that beautiful smile to her face. Those are the things I’m sacrificing and it feels like I’m losing pieces of myself, the more I think about what I’ll miss most about her.

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