Page 111 of Dance of Ruin

And yet… It doesn’t feel like I’m trapped anymore.

It feels like I’m beingkept.

Like I’m being taken care of in a way that’s impossible to explain to anyone who hasn’t lived in that space between power and surrender. Between fear and want.

When he touches me, when he looks at me the way he does…

I don’t feel owned.

I feelcherished.

And, God help me, I like it.

Bianca leans back against the headboard, automatically resting a hand on the still barely-there curve of her belly.

We sit in silence for a moment, letting the sound of the city outside fill the room.

“I didn’t mean to hide it from you, truly. I just…didn’t know what itwas.And now it’s out there and I feel like I can’t take a full breath.”

She tilts her head, sympathetic. “Because it’s real now?”

“Because it’smessy,” I murmur. “And… Maybe I like it more than I should.”

“You can always come to me,” she says with a small smile. “Whatever Nico is to you, I mean, c’mon, I already think of you as family.”

I don’t trust myself to speak.

Bianca shifts a little, adjusting the pillows around her. “You can tell me anything,” she says gently. “Anytime. You know that, right?”

The words hit harder than I expect and something in me cracks open.

I’ve been telling myself forever that nothing changed after Mom died. But it did.

My dad turned away, burying himself in handshakes and campaign slogans. I threw myself into dancing, letting it consume me. I pushed my body past its limits every day, hoping I could outrun the ache I didn’t want to name.

I’ve always said I’m lucky to have friends like Bianca, Milena, Lyra, Evelina and Brooklyn, but I’ve never let myself need them.

Never acknowledged that they’renotjust friends, they’re my family.

I nod, trying to blink back the sudden sting in my eyes.

Then it comes rushing back—like floodwaters breaking through a dam.

The photoshoot. The coldness and the raw, naked fear as darkness pulled me from my body. The sickening feeling of waking up with no memory and…cumon my skin.

It all claws back to the surface, dragging me under.

“Naomi?”

I flinch, jolting a little as I snap back to reality, my eyes flicking to Bianca’s.

Her brow furrows. “Is everything okay? I mean…” She grins. “Aside from the thing with my brother.”

“I—”

Her concern deepens as she takes my hands. “Hey, talk to me. Whatever it is?—”

“Bianca, I?—”

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