"Go," Katyr nodded. "I'll make sure they don't construct an entire snow army while you're gone."
Torsten looked up as I moved away. "Are you leaving?"
"Just for a little while," I assured him, bending to meet his eyes. "When I return, perhaps we can add some more details to Vargulf. A proper wolf king needs attendants, doesn't he?"
His face brightened. "A whole pack! We'll make them while you're gone!"
I smiled, ruffling his dark curls before crossing to the messenger. As I took the sealed report, I cast one last glance at the scene behind me. Katyr knelt in the snow beside the boys, his head bent close to Leif's as they discussed their next creation. Something in my chest tightened at the sight. In another life, this might have been normal, just another family enjoying a winter's day, untroubled by war and politics.
The afternoon dissolved into a blur of parchment and ink. There were reports to read, orders to sign, messages to dictate. Northern borders, supply routes, defensive preparations… Endless details required my attention. Each document represented lives hanging in the balance, decisions that would determine whether families survived the winter, whether soldiers lived or died. I signed my name so many times my fingers cramped, the letters blurring before my eyes as afternoon faded toward evening.
When I finally emerged from my study, shadows had lengthened across the fortress. My mind still churned with troop movements and supply calculations, but my chest ached with a different, simpler need—to see how the boys' snow pack had turned out. To return to that moment of normalcy I'd been forced to abandon.
I found them not in the courtyard but in the great hall, already seated for the evening meal. Katyr sat beside them, watching Torsten struggle with his portion. Leif sat quietly on the other side, pushing food around his plate without actually eating.
I crossed the hall, nodding acknowledgments to warriors and servants who bowed as I passed. Conversation quieted briefly, then resumed as I slid onto the bench across from the boys. Without hesitation, I reached for Torsten's plate.
"Here, let me help with that," I said, taking his knife and cutting the meat into smaller, more manageable pieces. The simple act felt right, necessary. Something no servant could do as meaningfully as I could myself.
Torsten's eyes widened. "Kings cut food too?"
"This one does," I replied, moving to do the same for Leif's portion, though he'd barely touched it.
"You missed it!" Torsten exclaimed, his eyes brightening when he spotted me. "We made a whole wolf pack! Seven wolves, all with stick legs, so they stood up proper. And Leif made one with only three legs that looked so real Master Gracin came to see!"
"A clever design," I said, turning my attention to the quieter boy. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to see it."
Leif shrugged one thin shoulder, his eyes fixed on his plate. "It's all right. Kings have important things to do."
"Nothing more important than seeing a masterfully crafted three-legged snow wolf," I countered, keeping my tone light despite the ache his words caused. "Perhaps you could draw me a picture tomorrow?"
A small smile flickered across his face. "Sounds good. We won’t be able to play outside tomorrow, anyway. Katyr says a storm's coming."
I glanced at his still-full plate. "You should eat your pheasant, Leif. The cooks worked very hard to make it for you."
“Don’t like pheasant,” he muttered, pushing it around.
“And what don’t you like about it?”
“Too spicy,” he complained.
I pursed my lips and studied the boy. It was pretty far from spicy. If anything, I’d have called it bland. But perhaps when he said spicy, he meant something else. Perhaps it was too rich for someone used to simpler foods.
I gestured for one of the servants to come forward. “Can you have the kitchen send up some gravy and bread for Leif?”
The servant bowed and rushed away.
I smiled and winked at the boy. “Gravy makes everything better.”
"When is Elindir coming back?" Leif asked suddenly. His eyes seemed almost too round for his face, too big and innocent.
"Soon," I promised, trying to keep my voice steady. "He's doing important work, but he'll return as quickly as he can. He made me promise to look after you both while he's away."
Leif watched me curiously. "Did you have a mother?”
The question caught me off guard, but I answered gently. "I did. Everyone does.”
“Not us,” Leif said, turning back to his plate.