Page 18 of Hero Worship

"I'm just saying." She bumped my shoulder companionably. "Some of us figure ourselves out later than others. Doesn't make it any less real." Her smile turned wicked. "Though I have to say, your taste has improved significantly since our marriage. Those legs? That ass? If I wasn't a flaming lesbian…And twenty years younger… "

"Jesus Christ," I muttered, but I couldn't help the slight smile tugging at my lips. This was the Zara I'd missed. The friendwho'd helped me through some of my darkest days, who'd known exactly who I was even when I couldn't admit it to myself.

"Language, darling. What would your pretty little protégé think?" She turned back to Xander, who was watching our exchange with those too-sharp eyes. "Let's see how well you handle... distractions."

Before I could process what was happening, she had Xander pressed against the mirror, her body molded to his back as she guided his hands over his own reflection. "Show me how you'd seduce a mark," she instructed, her voice pure business now. "Make me believe you want it."

My body reacted instantly to the display, cock hardening as Xander's breath hitched. His eyes met mine in the mirror, pupils blown wide with a mixture of arousal and uncertainty that made my hands itch to touch.

"That's it," Zara encouraged, her movements clinical and precise. "Show them exactly what they want to see. Make them forget you're anything but a pretty face until it's too late."

The crack of my cane against the floor made them both pause. "Enough." The word came out rougher than intended. "This isn't a peep show."

Zara released Xander with a knowing look, smoothing her leather pants as she stepped back. "Still so protective, Ash. Though I suppose some things never change." Her eyes sparkled with mischief rather than malice. "You always did have a thing for saving people. Even when they didn't need saving."

She glanced between us, reading something in our tension that made her expression turn thoughtful. "Take five, beautiful," she told Xander. "Hydrate, stretch, then we'll work on your cat walk."

Once he was out of earshot, she turned to me with that penetrating stare I remembered from our marriage. "You know, it took me thirty-eight years to figure out why sex with mennever felt quite right. Why I kept searching for something I couldn't name." Her voice gentled. "There's no timeline on these things, Ash. No expiration date on discovering who you are."

"I know who I am," I growled, but the words felt hollow even to my ears.

"Do you?" She raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "Because from where I'm standing, you look exactly like I felt before I met Elena. Terrified of wanting something that doesn't fit into your rigid definition of the world."

"He's twenty-two, Zara. My trainee. Algerone's son."

"And?" She crossed her arms, unimpressed. "He's also an adult who clearly knows what he wants. The question is, are you brave enough to admit whatyouwant?"

I scrubbed a hand down my face, suddenly exhausted. "It's not that simple."

"It never is." Her smile turned gentle. "But take it from someone who spent way too long trying to fit in everyone else's boxes. Sometimes the scariest things are exactly what we need." She squeezed my arm. "Elena and I would love to have you over for dinner sometime. Both of you."

The offer caught me off guard. Zara and I had maintained a cordial relationship after the divorce, but we'd never quite managed to rebuild our friendship. Until now.

"I'll think about it," I said finally.

"That's all I ask." She glanced over at Xander, who was very obviously pretending not to watch us. "Now, shall we get back to turning your boy into a proper honey trap? Elena's got some thoughts about his wardrobe that would make your blood pressure absolutely skyrocket."

Despite myself, I laughed. Trust Zara to cut straight through my brooding. "You're a menace."

"You love me anyway." She winked. "Now watch and learn, old man. Some of us actually know how to have fun while we're saving the world."

I watched her saunter back to Xander, already barking orders about proper posture and killing walks. My chest felt lighter somehow, like a weight I hadn't known I was carrying had lifted slightly.

"Again!" Zara commanded, and Xander launched into another strut. His eyes caught mine in the mirror, heat and challenge warring in their depths. This time, I let myself look back. Let myself really see him.

Maybe Zara was right. Maybe it was time to stop fighting what I wanted and start figuring out who I really was. Even if that person turned out to be someone I never expected.

God help us both when I did.

The private shooting rangebeneath Spade Tower smelled like gunpowder and metal, a scent that had always centered me. I'd set out the Ruger .22 for Xander. It was perfect for beginners with its minimal recoil and simple operation. But watching Xander handle the small pistol with those delicate fingers, black nail polish gleaming against the gunmetal... something twisted in my gut that I didn't want to examine too closely. The way his eyes kept darting to my Sig, holstered at my hip, made that something twist even harder.

"You're gripping it wrong," I growled. My knee protested as I pushed away from the wall, moving behind him. "Here." My hands covered his, adjusting his stance. The heat of his body pressed against my chest made my thoughts scatter in directions they had no business going. "Firm but not white-knuckled. Like handling a lover."

Xander's breath hitched as I manipulated his fingers into the proper position. He brought the barrel to his lips, letting it rest there for just a moment as his tongue darted out. "Is this how you like your weapon handled, Daddy?"

Jesus fucking Christ.

"That's not a toy," I snapped, yanking the gun away from his mouth. My cock throbbed traitorously, the image of those pretty lips wrapped around metal burning itself into my brain.

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