Page 97 of Body and Soul

I frowned, trying to wrap my head around that. “So, he thinks he's living in the past?”

“In a sense, yes. He knows time has passed and is aware of some current events and technology. But emotionally, he’s still achild in the early '90s.” Gavin layered the banana slices onto the peanut butter-slathered bread with precision.

“That’s why his room looks like a time capsule,” I mused, picturing the faded posters and chunky plastic toys.

“Precisely. We keep his environment consistent to avoid confusion. It’s best to limit adult topics or current events when he’s around. Others in the system keep Dex protected from all that.”

I watched as Gavin cut the sandwiches into triangles, like my mom used to do. “So, what’s his role in the system? Shepherd’s other alters seem to have a purpose.”

Gavin paused, considering. “Dex’s purpose is to be a child. To experience the joy, innocence, and simplicity of childhood—something that was lacking in Shepherd's early years.”

I nodded slowly, absorbing the information. It made sense, in a sad way. From what I knew of Shepherd's past, his childhood was far from idyllic. It was no wonder his mind created an alter to experience the carefree joy he had been denied.

Gavin arranged the sandwich triangles on a plate with some baby carrots and apple slices. The bright primary colors looked cheerful against the white ceramic. “There is one more thing you should know,” he said, his voice taking on a serious note. “Shepherd's legal name, the one he was given at birth, was Dexter.”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Dexter? So Dex is... what, the original? The core personality?”

Gavin shook his head. “No, not exactly. Dex is an alter like the others. But he holds the memories, the emotions, of Shepherd's earliest childhood. When Annie adopted Shepherd, he chose to legally change his name. A fresh start, a way to distance himself from his traumatic past.”

“Wow,” I breathed, trying to wrap my mind around this new piece of the puzzle that was Shepherd. “That's heavy.”

Gavin's lips quirked in a small, humorless smile. “Indeed. Dex's existence is a testament to the severity of the trauma Shepherd endured. But he also represents hope and resilience. The human mind is elastic and amazing.”

I nodded. The human mind was amazing, and Shepherd's mind was a labyrinthine marvel, intricate and complex. Each alter was a facet of him, a shard of the whole, coping with unfathomable trauma in their own unique way. And Dex, with his childlike innocence and wonder, was perhaps the most poignant of all.

“You know,” Gavin said, interrupting my contemplation, “the fact that you're meeting Dex at all is a good sign.”

I glanced up at him, eyebrows raised in question.

“Dex is... selective about who he interacts with. He won't come out unless he feels completely safe and trusts the person he's with.” Gavin's gray eyes met mine, solemn and intense. “The fact that he's chosen to spend time with you today speaks volumes about his level of comfort with you.”

A warm flush crept up my neck at the implication. I'd only known Shepherd and his system for a short time, but the idea that even his most guarded, protected alter felt safe with me...it was humbling. And a little overwhelming.

“I...wow.” I rubbed the back of my neck, unsure how to respond. “I'm honored, I guess. I just... I want to do right by him, you know? By all of them.”

Gavin's usually stoic face softened into a small smile. He placed a hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You're doing wonderfully, Eli. Trust your instincts. Dex already does.”

Gavin stayed for a while, but there was no need. When I caught him dozing in a chair, I told him to go home and get some rest. I could handle Dex on my own, and he was a phone call away if I needed him.

We spent the day alternating between coloring, watching TV, and eating junk food. By the time eight o’clock rolled around, Dex was absolutely exhausted. He had me tuck him in and read him a bedtime story about T-Rex at the dentist. It was strange to be in reversed roles with the man who’d been vowing to protect me the night before. Now, I was the one protecting him. Though I supposed that wasn’t quite right. Dex and Keres might have shared a body, but they were completely different entities with their own quirks and needs. I liked spending time with them both in their own ways.

As the story wound down, I glanced up from the book to find him fast asleep, clutching a dinosaur in each hand. I smiled and put the book aside as quietly as I could. Carefully, I extracted the plastic dinosaurs from his hands and placed them on the floor next to the bed. Then I smoothed a hand gently over his head. He looked so peaceful, so sweet. I couldn’t resist leaning down to plant a kiss on his forehead.

As I leaned to kiss Dex's forehead, his body went rigid. A vice-like grip seized my wrist, yanking my hand away.

I looked up, startled, into cold, dark eyes. The innocent sparkle was gone, replaced by an intensity that turned my insides to ice.

“What do you think you're doing?” The voice that came out of Shepherd's mouth was low and menacing, dripping with barely restrained fury.

I tried to pull my arm back, but the iron grip only tightened, grinding the delicate bones of my wrist together. I winced in pain. “I was saying goodnight to Dex. I didn't mean any harm.”

The newcomer sneered. “Didn’t mean any harm? Is that what you tell yourself while preying on innocent children?”

My mouth fell open in shock. “What? No! I would never—”

He surged to his feet, towering over me. I stumbled back, but he followed, crowding me until my back hit the wall. His forearm pressed against my throat.

“Don’t lie to me,” he snarled, his face inches from mine, his breath hot against my skin. “Do you think you’re the first of your kind I’ve encountered? You’re not. I know your kind. Lying, selfish predators.”

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