Page 73 of Body and Soul

“You have nothing to apologize for. What you needed wasn’t weird.”

Eli tilted his head back to look up at me, his blue eyes glassy with tears. I saw the lingering uncertainty in his gaze, the fear he’d overstepped or displeased me.

I cupped Eli's cheek, my thumb brushing away his tears. “What you felt—the need to suckle for comfort—is a natural response to intense stress. It's called oral regression.”

Eli's brows furrowed, lips parting to speak, but I continued before he could ask.

“When we’re infants, sucking is one of the first ways we self-soothe, deeply ingrained in our psyche, tied to safety, satisfaction, and bonding,” I explained. “It’s not strange to want that, Eli.”

Eli nodded, thoughtfully processing my words. I saw the gears turning in his head, reconciling this new information with the shame and uncertainty still clinging to him.

“So... it’s okay that I needed that? That I wanted to keep you in my mouth?” he asked hesitantly, his voice small.

“More than okay,” I assured him, tilting his face up. “I like providing that comfort. Feeling you relax against me soothed something inside me as well.”

Eli's eyes widened slightly, a flicker of surprise and then wonder crossing his delicate features. “It helped you too?”

I smiled softly, brushing my thumb across his lip. “Being your safe place, your anchor, is a privilege, Eli. I don’t take it lightly. When we rework the contract tomorrow, we can add that if you’d like.”

Eli’s eyes widened. “The contract! We didn’t amend it!”

“It’s fine. We’ll make the changes tomorrow after we’ve both had some rest.”

A tentative smile tugged at the corners of Eli's mouth as he nodded. “I'd like that, Sir. Thank you.”

I returned his smile, warmth blooming in my chest at the sight of his easing distress. “For now, I think it's time we got you to bed. It's been a long day.”

Eli's gaze flickered with reluctance, as if he wasn’t ready to leave my lap. But he rose gracefully, despite the emotional exhaustion clinging to him.

I tucked myself back into my trousers and stood, placing a steadying hand on Eli's lower back as I guided him towards the bathroom.

I sat him on the closed toilet lid and wet a soft washcloth with warm water. With gentle strokes, I wiped away the tears and saliva from his face, taking care around his reddened eyes and swollen lips. Eli leaned into my touch, his eyes fluttering closed as he savored the attention.

“Could I sleep in your bed tonight, Sir?” he asked.

I paused, the damp washcloth hovering above Eli's cheek. His request caught me off guard.

Eli's eyes opened, his gaze searching mine. “Please, Sir,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “I don’t want to be alone tonight. We don’t have to do anything sexual. I just need to feel you close.”

I studied Eli's face, taking in the vulnerability etched into his delicate features. The remnants of his earlier distress still clung to him, evident in the slight furrow of his brow and the way his lower lip quivered.

I set the washcloth aside. “I have rules about submissives in my bed, Eli. Considering my DID, it’s not always the best idea, especially since you haven’t met all my alters. For safety, I don’t allow submissives to sleep in my bed.”

His expression fell. “I understand, Sir.”

I couldn’t bear the disappointment flickering across Eli's face. I knew he craved the closeness, the reassurance of having me near after such an emotionally taxing day. Honestly, the thought of holding him through the night, of providing comfort and security, was appealing.

I cupped Eli's cheek, my thumb brushing the delicate skin beneath his eye. “How about a compromise? I’ll lie with you until you fall asleep. I can hold you, keep you safe, but we’ll have our own space to retreat to if needed.”

Eli leaned into my touch. “I'd like that, Sir. Thank you.”

I helped Eli to his feet and led him to his bedroom. The space was tidy and minimalistic, with personal touches hinting at the complex young man within. I pulled back the covers and gestured for Eli to climb in.

He slid beneath the sheets, his platinum hair fanning out across the pillow. I couldn’t help but marvel at his beauty, even in this vulnerable state. I dimmed the lights before slipping into bed behind him, molding my body to his.

Eli nestled back against me, his body fitting perfectly against mine. The heat of his skin seeped through the thin fabric of his t-shirt, warming me in a way that had nothing to do with the temperature. Inhaling deeply, I caught the faintly citrusy scent of Eli's shampoo.

Despite my best intentions, my body responded to Eli's proximity. My cock twitched and hardened, pressing against the cleft of his ass through our clothing. I gritted my teeth, willing myself to maintain control.

---