Page 62 of Body and Soul

Still, as I sat there perched on Bryce's lap, our bodies still humming with arousal, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was betraying Shepherd's trust. He was more than just my dominant—he was my rock, my guiding light. The man who'd given me purpose and direction when I was lost. Going behind his back like this, even with one of his alters, felt wrong.

I shifted back, putting more space between myself and Bryce. He watched me with understanding eyes, his hands falling away from my waist to rest on his thighs.

“I'm sorry,” I said quietly, my gaze dropping to my own hands twisting in my lap. “I want this, want you. But if we're going to do this, he needs to know. You two need to talk it out first.”

Bryce nodded, his expression serious but not upset. “You're right. Shepherd and I do need to discuss this, especially given your dynamic with him. I shouldn't have let things escalate without talking to him first.” He reached out to take my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I'm sorry for putting you in this position, Eli. That wasn't fair of me.”

I squeezed his hand back, offering a small, tentative smile. “It's okay. I'm just as responsible. I got caught up in the moment, too.” I slid off his lap to sit beside him again, though I kept our hands linked. “For the record, I do like you, Bryce. Asexuality and all. I want to keep getting to know you, even if sex isn't on the table.”

Bryce's answering smile was bright and warm. “I'd like that a lot,” he said softly, his thumb stroking over my knuckles. “Getting to know each other, spending time together, being close like this. It means a lot to me.”

I ducked my head, a pleased flush creeping up my neck. It was novel, someone wanting more than my body or my willingness to bend to their desires. With Shepherd, submission and service defined our dynamic—valued, but transactional.

With Bryce, it felt different. Simpler, in a way, but no less profound. The potential for a true connection, a bond based on mutual understanding and affection rather than rules and roles.

We sat in silence, hands linked, basking in quiet intimacy. The horror movie played on in the background, exaggerated screams and squelches oddly fitting the emotions swirling between us.

Finally, Bryce gave my hand a final squeeze before releasing it. “As much as I'm enjoying this, we should probably call it a night. It’s getting late.”

I stood and moved toward the door, but paused in the doorway, turning back to him. “Goodnight, Bryce.”

“Goodnight, Eli.” His voice was soft, sincere, wrapping around me like a warm blanket.

I slipped out into the dimly lit hallway, my heart still racing as I walked to my own room. Once inside my room, I leaned against the door, letting out a slow breath as I processed everything that had happened. The whole day had been a roller coaster of emotion, but I was glad it’d ended on a good note. Hopefully, tomorrow would be better.

I also hoped Shepherd would be back tomorrow. No offense to Bryce or Keres, but I needed to talk to Shepherd. If the evening with Bryce had made me aware of anything, it was how much I missed physical intimacy with someone after going a few weeks without sex. I was tired of it, and something needed to change. If Shepherd wasn’t ready to take that step with me, maybe he’d be open to letting me explore that with one of his other alters.

I woke slowly froma deep, dreamless sleep, muscles flexing, joints popping. It was nearly eight. I’d slept later than usual, but clearly needed it. Bryce had suggested taking over the day before to give me a break, and despite the initial resistance, I was glad I’d agreed. This morning, I felt more refreshed than I had in days.

I padded to the kitchen, cool tile underfoot, and started coffee before retrieving the diary. I settled at the table, cracking open the worn leather cover.

Yesterday’s entry detailed Bryce’s night with Eli—impromptu movie, feverish kisses, skin on skin. Heat curled in my core reading it, though I was relieved it hadn’t gone further.

Eli was good, Bryce wrote.The last thing in the world he wants is to disappoint you, Shepherd, but the poor kid desperately needs to get laid. You should’ve seen the look on his face. You need to sex that boy up pronto.

I set the diary aside, Bryce's words echoing in my mind as I went about my morning. The hot spray of the showersoothed the remaining tension from my shoulders. Eli had been obedient, keeping to the terms of our agreement despite his obvious arousal and need. I was pleased with his restraint, but Bryce did have a point. The boy was wound tighter than a coiled spring. He needed release.

As I toweled off and dressed in a crisp button-down and slacks, I considered how best to reward Eli for his good behavior. Perhaps it was time to allow him some relief. Not the full act of intercourse, but there were other ways I could grant him satisfaction without compromising our arrangement. Unless, of course, he wanted to amend the contract. I wasn’t sure it was time for that yet, but perhaps, if we took things slow and he was willing to be patient, we could make it work.

Straightening my tie in the mirror, I studied my reflection. I looked polished and in control, every inch the dominant I was. But there was hunger in my eyes, a growing need to possess and claim the beautiful submissive who had so thoroughly captured my interest. Eli brought out a deep yearning and protectiveness in me that I hadn't experienced with previous submissives. There was something special about him, something that went deeper than the need to dominate and control. Something I wasn’t yet ready to put a name to.

My phone rang, shattering the contemplative silence. I sighed, recognizing the ringtone. Annie. My mother, the matriarch of the Laskin family. As much as I loved my mother, she was the last person I wanted to talk to that morning. If she was calling me this early, it meant she wanted something.

“Mother,” I greeted, keeping my tone neutral. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Shepherd?” she said, her voice tight. “Oh, goodness. It’s so good to hear your voice.”

The skin on the back of my neck prickled, and I immediately went on alert. “What’s wrong?”

She sighed. “Things are a mess on your father’s side of the family right now.”

I snorted. When weren’t they? Yuri might’ve been Annie’s husband, but that was in name only. He had eyes only for Nikita Volkov, whose father was the head of the Russian mafia in Columbus. I didn’t get involved in that side of the family if I could help it, but my adopted brother, Warrick, didn’t have much choice. Nikita was his biological father and that came with its own baggage.

“Listen, I’ll cut straight to the chase,” Annie said. “We need you at Liar's Corner this afternoon. Nikita and Warrick are involved in this mess of a coup, and everyone is here, hunkered down, waiting for this to pass. We’ve had to call in the Junkyard Dogs to assist, and I’d appreciate it if you were here to back Warrick up on this, Shepherd.”

I suppressed a groan. The Junkyard Dogs. A nasty bunch of mercenaries we'd contracted in the past for some of our more unsavory jobs. Effective, but unpredictable. Dealing with them was always a headache.

But I’d never turn down the chance to support my family when they needed me.

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