Page 51 of Body and Soul

The message was brief, succinct, yet it carried the weight of a thousand unspoken fears. I had read it before, countless times now, and each time made me more anxious than the last.

I forced my attention back to the laptop screen, my fingers tapping at the keys with a renewed sense of purpose. The words appeared on the screen, but they held no meaning, no coherence. I read the same sentence three times before realizingI had no idea what it said. My mind kept drifting, pulled back to the notebook, to the stark warning scrawled across the page in Azreal's unmistakable hand.

The silence in the house pressed in on me, heavy and oppressive. It was a palpable presence, a weight that settled on my chest and made each breath an effort. Eli's absence was keenly felt, his vibrant energy conspicuously missing from the normally lively space. With him gone at his apprenticeship, I was left alone, adrift in a sea of my own tumultuous thoughts.

I glanced at the antique clock on the wall, watching the seconds tick by with an agonizing slowness. Each passing moment felt like an eternity, a precious resource slipping through my fingers as I sat here, paralyzed by indecision and worry. The pressure of time bore down on me, a constant reminder of all the things I needed to do, all the people I needed to protect.

The shrill ring of my cell phone pierced the oppressive silence, jolting me out of my spiraling thoughts. I glanced at the screen, my heart rate spiking as I saw the name flashing across the display: Annie Laskin. Mom.

I swiped to answer, my voice coming out strained and tense. “Now’s not a good time, Mom.”

On the other end, my mother huffed. “Shepherd Laskin, what has gotten into you? I barely hear from you for weeks and then you don’t have time to take my call?”

“I’m sorry, Mom,” I said, switching to Russian to match her language. “I’ve been…busy.”

“What’s going on, Pebble?”

The old nickname made my chest tighten, bringing back memories I’d long tried to ignore. She hadn’t called me that in years, not since the days when calling her “Mom” had been a battle in itself. I wasn’t the boy who needed her apron strings for comfort anymore—but that didn’t stop the memories.

“It’s nothing,” I managed, hiding the tremor in my voice. “Just preparing for the semester.”

“Shepherd, do you think I don’t know when you’re lying?” she chastised gently. “Come clean now.”

I sighed. “It’s nothing, Mom. I promise. You know how I like my routine. It’s important for my mental health to stick to that as much as possible.”

She sighed on the other end, a sign that she didn’t believe the lie I was feeding her. I didn’t know why I was surprised. Annie had always been an expert at rooting out facts, especially when it came to her children.

“Shepherd, we're your family and we love you, no matter what's going on in that complicated mind of yours,” Annie said softly. “I know things aren't easy for you. They never have been. But shutting us out isn't the answer.”

I closed my eyes, guilt warring with the desperate need to keep my distance, to protect them from the darkness inside me that threatened to swallow me whole. “I'm not shutting you out, Mom. I... I need some space right now. To figure things out on my own. Things are complicated right now.”

“Story of our lives, isn’t it?” she teased gently. Then her voice turned serious again. “I know how important control is to you, but don't let it rule you. Sometimes the best medicine is letting go.”

I let out a slow breath, my chest aching. I knew she was right, as much as I hated to admit it. Control was my anchor, the only thing that kept me from spiraling into the abyss of my own mind. But it was also a double-edged sword, one that cut deep if I gripped it too tightly.

“I know, Mom. I'm trying. It's hard sometimes.”

“We're here for you, always. No matter what.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to hear.”

“Of course, Pebble.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “Now, tell me truthfully… Are you doing alright? Do you need anything?”

“No, Mom. But thank you for calling.”

“Take care of yourself, Shepherd.”

I promised I would and hung up the phone, a sense of unease settling in the pit of my stomach. The weight of the secrets I carried pressed down on me, a physical burden that made each breath an effort.

As I turned my attention back to the glowing screen before me, my ringtone cut through the silence again, making my pulse jump. I checked the screen and frowned. Unknown numbers weren’t uncommon in my line of work, but something about this one made me hesitate.

“Dr. Laskin speaking,” I answered, keeping my tone neutral.

“Good morning, Doctor.” The voice was low, almost amused, with an accent I couldn’t quite place. “I hope I’m not intruding.”

A prickling sensation crept up my spine. “Who is this?”

The stranger chuckled. “Names aren’t important, Doctor. Let’s not waste time. There’s something at your front door I think you’ll find... intriguing.”

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